Summary of a Catch Up

I know this is going to be a marathon post and I am sorry for that. I have not really written the entire semester and for that I am once again sorry. I think some of you know what has been going on but maybe not all of you (aka Mom, Carly, and Katie to a point). Life has been hard and I have felt extremely overwhelmed to the point of tears. I wrote the following about 2 weeks ago- one of the crying days and decided to not post it because I did not want a million phone calls from everyone but decided that was dumb. (Though I still do not want everyone to call me because I am doing fine.)

Well, I think it has been a month of not writing. A missionary is taught that you should only feel happy. We are the “icon” of the church. We should be smiling and full of the  Spirit. Well, dang it that is not how it is. Somedays are just crappy. I have missed feeling so much and I have prayed so many times to just let me be able to write again… I felt like it was something that was taken from me when I was called as a missionary. Well, today I finally felt the need- I felt the familiar feeling of, “Cassie you need to leave. Get out and go somewhere. Well I did and now I don’t feel it anymore and I hate iIT!!!! Why is this so hard? I am finally being raw- I am scared! I am terrified of my future. Where is it gong? I feel like I am spinning out of control and I understand anorexic people wanting to be able to control at least one thing in their life. I know that Mom, Carly and Katie are worried about me. I have lost 20 or more pounds since being home. I am not sure how much was lost healthily. The fact is this, I like being skinny but I never lost it by intentionally stressing myself out and not eating. I am working on being healthy; to keep the same weight but keep it off in a healthy way. Friday, confirmed to me that I need to slow down. I have been having a good amount of impressions that I am doing too much; but, I am prideful and did not want to admit to myself that I couldn't do everything as much as I want to do. I am being humbled. I have had the thought, “Cassie, you are promised to be healthy, strong and physically able if you follow my commandments.” Others have been, “If you want cancer- keep pushing yourself till you break, until your body shuts down and then how much more of a failure will that be? I hate having to admit that I just am not strong enough. Oh right, what really scared me was friday; I almost fainted twice while at the hospital. I dont know what caused it variables include: being on my period, stress, lack of sleep, depriving myself of lots of things like peace of mind, or the fact that I could see this guys intestines (but thinking back on it really doesnt bother me. I had just eaten a real meal (not just a handful of carrots and almonds) so  I cancel out low blood sugars or lack of water because I have been drinking at least 6 glasses for the past month, (you all should be proud of that fact). I did not like that I did not know why this was happening and maybe it was a fluke thing or maybe it was Heavenly Father saying, “No, my child; please, stop pushing yourself more than I am asking. In stake conference today I realized that I put my expectations of myself above that of Heavenly Fathers sometimes. Also, the fact that He is trying to tell me that now is the time for me to learn how to take care of myself so that I can better serve Him the rest of my life. I talked to the hospital, they are not happy that I will be leaving in April; I felt a little bad but I dont think I care. I now need to call my shift coordinator and figure out how being released as a temple worker is done. This one I feel bad about. I do not want to stop; but I know that Heavenly Father has carried me this far into the semester without failing out and now He is saying it is time to stop when the temple is more a cause of stress than peace.

I finally did something for me- I just wrote when I really should be studying for a test that i am taking late tomorrow. Life is still good but I feel very lost and confused. I wanted to date for the first time ever in my life so I prayed for it. This past month I have gone on more dates than I have in my entire life combined I would guess. It has been fun, it has been incredibly flattering because I know that I am decent looking but I think I am just above average- I am not crazy beautiful and my makeup is never done to make myself look flawless. I dont put out just for fun. I am not over the top flirty, I am athletic but no speciality. I do not follow tv shows, actresses or movies and so I get left out of a lot of conversations. I can hold a tune and sing in a choir but not really a good solo voice. I am smart but I work my butt of for the grades I get. I know the stories of the scriptures but cant tell you where any of them are. So, I have been dating and let one of the guys die down, another I need to talk to this week and I feel awful that I have to end things with I am just not attracted to you there is nothing about you that is wrong I just do not feel it; and I think he wants to go forward. The one person I do want to date is so dense that he won’t make a single move! If I want it bad enough then I am going to have to tell him point blank. Dating has its owns stresses and problems. 

Fast forward to now: I am pretty sure that I live for sundays! It is the only day where I feel peace for more than 5 minutes at a time. Its the day when I won’t let myself work because its against the commandments (but I have thought about it multiple times) I have my first C after the past test. And Yes, mom I know that I should bring my grades up and yes that I took to much on. But plenty of people hold a job and go to school (wether they get As and Bs like me I do not know.) I have my goals to raise my B and current C back to As. And since the only guy I have actually wanted to date since being home from the mission friend zoned me this week. I think this is a reasonable goal. And yes it hurt a little more than I wanted it to. My dating streak has come to an end- now back to the library for late and lonely nights. I guess the library is how I cope. I can control how much home work I do and then hopefully get the As I expect of myself. Life is still good- even though there are a lot of things that stress me out if I start to think past the next 30 minutes- there is still a lot to be grateful for. I am so grateful that Katie and Carly came down this weekend. I loved playing waterpolo with Katie. And sometimes, I am so grateful that I can be immature with her and laugh a lot and do stupid impulsive things that Carly does not approve of ;) I am grateful for eternal families and especially the one that I have. 

I am grateful for Alma 13:27-30, “And now, my brethren, I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even unto pain, that ye would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the day of your repentance; But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering; Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter int his rest.” So, I am trying to become this scripture and have faith, hope that my life will go according to His plan, and to never let myself loose my ability to love all those around me no matter the circumstances that are happening in my life at the moment. I am very excited to come home for spring and summer and to finally feel at home for the first time probably since high school. I love you all and please know that I am doing okay.

Utah

So this week is going to be busy with school, but it'll be a good one! :)

Right now, I'm in Utah visiting Cassie with Katie. We were going to have a craft wars but we ended up making scarves! They're super easy and really cute! It was a nice relaxing night. 

Yesterday, I went on another date with Jordan. Jordan was a blind date from 2 weeks ago with Cassie and we just instantly got along. So yesterday, I actually went to dinner at his house with his whole family. It was fun. Made me miss our family! We're a little more fun! But it was nice. His grandma is from Mexico so she and I chatted in Spanish for a bit. Jordan's Dad and Jordan's brother challenged us to fooseball. I would like to say that you should all be proud! We won! And it wasn't just because Jordan was on my team. I held my own :) then we went to the Jazz game which they won against the Milwaukee Bucks (apparently they're ranked pretty high?) so that was exciting.

So far I really just like being around him. Super nice, smart and fun. Katie says he passes the good looking test as well. :) Oh and we've held hands but that's it. So he's a very nice and respectful boy. 

Other than that, my life is pretty normal. I took a tour of Aveda and really loved it. So I'm thinking about going to school there. 

I love you all! :)

In a Tunnel? - We can have light and it can be light!

So the Agoura/Westlake Wards had a Women's Conference this Saturday. The theme was "A Heart Like His". Brooke wrote a song and it started out with the words, "If the Lord opened my heart, what would he see? Would it be bruised and broken, empty, or made of stone. We have loved ones that love, but sometimes we need more. We need Him. He is tender. He is strong.

The main speaker was April Perry and I guess she's a blogger. She spoke about a blog she wrote. You know how you hear the saying, "Light at the end of the tunnel", well why can't we have light in the tunnel. She had a unique way of speaking/teaching and it engage you instead of just listening. She made it personal. She asked everyone to think of a struggle that they are dealing with, that they just can't share with others. It's something they keep private. Then she asked to think about that challenge and ask the question, "What does this challenge make possible?' She asked what tools we have to get light in the tunnel. She spoke of prayer and scriptures. What can I DO to receive light? The Brother of Jared asked, "Do I have to cross these waters in darkness?" and the Lord responded, "What would you have me do?" We have to "do". We need to "tie" ourselves to the Savior.

In Romans 13:12 it says, "The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.

When we think of armor we think of putting on something heavy. Sometimes in the mist of troubles we just can't think of doing one more thing or feeling any more burden. We just can't. This is how Satan wants us to feel. It is NOT a burden, to put on the armor of light. When we put on the armor of light we can go to the Lord with confidence to be with us, to help us, to lead the way. That confidence is earned by doing.

D.C. 50:25, "And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you;".

The past couple weeks I've been feeling like everything is going good with everyone, even though we can't be together. This week things seems to have been shaken a little. I know that as we go through life and deal with all the things that life brings us to make us stronger or happens because of our actions and presents a learning opportunity or even that it is allowed just because it's not necessary to not happen - we can have light and it can be light.

Life is Good Always.

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A tougher week

So this week hasn't been bad, but it was tougher. We found out jon did not pass his major field exam and his teacher has been a little bit of a jerk about it. The grad office told Jon to sit down with each of the professors and figure out where there expectations were not met and how to fix things for a retake. Well he scheduled one appointment and his main teacher canceled the appointment (with another professor) without telling jon. After consulting with the one who canceled it he was told to be patient and they would all get together but was given no time line. Jon only felt questionable about a few questions but they were out in left field as far as what he was told to study. A majority of the questions asked for his opinion, so he doesn't know how those could be terribly wrong unless he didn't back it up. Anyways, they won't tell jon anything.

Anyways, that was Monday and Jon did a great job forgetting about that for the day. We went to olive garden for lunch and then to the library (cause I wanted to go). Then he went to work and I went to book club. When I got home he surprised me with flowers, a small cake and big hero 6. :-) I also talked with all of you. :-)

Wednesday morning jon had some spare time and decided to go to the temple. (There are only two sessions on Wednesday and he was trying to go to the first to be back in time for a voice lesson). Well he got pretty close and then there was an accident. He missed the first session and he called. I told him he was already down there and probably needed it and there was still a chance he wouldn't miss his lesson (traffic and weather willing). Anyways, he saw a different video and liked it. On his way back he stopped for gas and had to go inside to pay. So he went in and the guy said he'd put $50 on pump 7. Jon went out and the pump already said $4 and wouldn't clear. It also wouldn't start pumping. Anyways, the attendant came out but didn't seem to understand the problem. The $4 was from a previous person (as Jon couldn't get anything to work)and Jon ended up going elsewhere but got the feeling that the guy might still charge his card the full $50.

Friday night we get a text from the people who live in this home. Last we had heard was they were planning to extend a year. But Friday night she says they're coming back June 1st. We didn't get out the contract but we said we hadn't planned on leaving by the first. I don't know if this is bad news but it really stressed out jon on top of the other stuff. In my opinion while we're packing things up for summer, we might as well move everything (to a storage unit or somewhere) if they're going to be coming back anyways. We have enjoyed it here and saved some money. She's been kind of weird about things and I still like her but not as a landlord. She accused me of putting too many nails in the wall as an example. (Number one she said I could put nails in the wall but to try to keep it to a minimum. Number two, I actually haven't made any new holes. I have searched for nail holes and made the most of it- some are not in ideal places for the pictures we have, and mom bought us some sticky hanging things so we wouldn't have to make more holes but could hang up more stuff ). Anyways, jon and I had talked of moving before fall semester starts anyways to be closer to his job in Illinois, if we didn't get something better. Anyways, just more stress. Friday I made dinner for a family in the ward and a dessert for a ward game night.

Saturday there was a baptism at 2. I gave a talk and sang with 3 others. Then I went home with George and made dinner, fed George and packed it up to take to the church for stake conference. Jon wasn't going to have much time to come home and we were feeding the missionaries. Then there was stake conference and we sang in the choir. On the way home jon got a fraud alert on our credit card and called right when we got home. Someone had tried purchasing over $500 worth of stuff in Kentucky (near where jon got gas when he went to the temple). He called and turns out the gas attendant had charged some money to his card, even though jon didn't get a drop of gas. So we're getting new cards sent.

Today, stake conference was cancelled due to weather. We were given permission to have the sacrament in our home and did. Then we went out to bloomfield (a small town a little west of us) to look at a house. One of Jon's students in Bedford just put her mom in a nursing home. (She's older herself and her mom is about 90-something). Anyways, I think they went to sell the house but we asked if she'd be willing to rent it to us til the market gets a little better. If so, that's about where we wanted to move to. It's not great but if she'll rent it, it would be good and about where we want to be. We'd be a block away from the town square and a mile from a bigger park and a few blocks away from a girl we know from stake choir who would love to babysit.

Anyways, not a bad week but not awesome. George turned 5 months! And I'm now 30!

A few different thoughts- at the baptism they were told to confirm her on Saturday (not regular for a convert baptism-they like to do it in sacrament meeting). Anyways, I feel they were inspired. As it was she wouldn't have been confirmed today but now that they're rescheduling stake conference, it would've been waiting for 2 weeks. Second thought, or stake patriarch spoke at Friday forum and said men are that they might have joy-so if we aren't feeling joy, we should step back and evaluate things and figure out a way to find joy. I just liked that thought.
Last, the adult session of stake coherence was all about ward council. Women in ward council was brought up and it reminded me of some of the issues going on in the world. When I was a relief society president I was asked for my opinion often. I was invited every Sunday. I've heard some people say that the church is changing and they're starting  (as of the last year) to include women to avoid criticism. This is not true. The relief society president is supposed to be involved and represent the women. The extent of that involvement was left to the bishop. I served in wards on my mission that weren't used to having women show up to ward council but that was in part due to the fact that it was a good Sunday if the RS president showed up to church at all that day. Anyways, the women are represented in the ward-all wards, regardless of how many times they are invited to Sunday meetings. One of the talks was clearly meant to reach women who don't feel represented and it reminded me of the feminist movement going on. I would say I'm a feminist as far as believing women are equal to men and being proud to be a woman and wanting equal rights. But here's the thing-equality does not mean the same. My Sunday best is a dress or skirt and blouse and not nice slacks because I want the Lord to know I'm grateful to be a woman. I do not need to wear pants to feel the same or equal to men. A woman's place is in the home not because she is less intelligent but because we have a knack for nurturing and because we can take a menial structure and create a home. If a woman works, it should not be to prove she is the same as a man, though I hope women who do work are treated equally. A woman is not ordained to the Priesthood because she is not equal to man but because she is not the same and therefore has a different role. A lawyer and a doctor both have to have extensive schooling. One is not lesser than the other (despite lawyer jokes). They are different. You do not want a lawyer performing open heart surgery on you, not because he's not as smart as the doctor but because his role is different. Neither would you want a pediatrician defending you in court. My role as a woman makes me different but not less than a man. While a lawyer may wear a suit, a doctor wears scrubs; so also, men wear suits to church and I wear a dress. I know that women are represented in the ward. They do amazing things. And women are equal to men in the church, but we are not the same. Why would we want to be?

George sitting and baptism

So I'm sitting here with George. We've had a rough night. He had a good morning nap and hasn't really slept since (for about 10 hours). He has fallen asleep three times in that time period but never for very long. It was hard because he was unusually fussy. He didn't want to eat or walk or read books or anything else that normally works. Well, finally I did get him to eat and then I turned on Winnie the Pooh and got out our Eeyore. So we're watching a little Pooh bear and he's happy! Like normal, but this evening it's really good.

 

So I've been buying things for George, well not too much since last week. I realized last week that I had bought two things that were similar, so I returned one. Instead, we got a pop-up tent, a pop-up tunnel (to crawl through) and a pop-up ball pit. He really likes the ball pit (the only part we've played with and he sits and tries to reach for the balls but sometimes loses his balance. He loves his exer-saucer as well. He still rolls but this week he has been liking sitting and I've let him fall a few times. I help him lean and if he's close to the floor I just move anything hard and let him fall if he looses his balance the few more inches to the floor. He is the most ticklish on his back, but getting more ticklish.

 

Today he was trying to eat my yogurt (so I gave him a VERY small taste- oops!) Well, he likes peach yogurt, but I'm supposed to wait til he's had other solids first and is 6+ months, that's why I said oops. We then got a bottle ready mixed with some oatmeal.

 

Saturday there was a baptism scheduled that was cancelled. I had been asked to sing in a small group and give the talk on baptism. But it was cancelled because the investigator's brother was snowed in and couldn't make it. So now it's this Saturday at 2. Two of the wards in Bloomington cancelled church on Sunday but the roads haven't been too bad, but we did buy a shovel on Saturday. Also, our lease on the Kia is about a year up so Jon has been researching cars. He found a few cars that had good reviews and we had decided to get a used car next time. Anyways, he found a car he was interested in that he tried out and wanted me to try out. He had been looking at it for awhile and this one was a really good deal. So, long story short, we bought a car. We called Kia and found out that dealers can buy out a lease, so that's what they did. We traded in the Kia and got a 2010 car and financed it for $16 more than our lease payments, but we'll own the car after just a few years. It's better than buying the car after the lease and we had a few things we didn't like about the Kia that this car doesn't have.

 

I guess spiritual thoughts- most of my ponderings were on baptism. How there's a gate to get into the kingdom of heaven. The gate is baptism. That gate has a lock and copies of the keys are made when a man receives the Priesthood by the laying on of hands. But just because we're in the gate, there's still a path to the House of the Lord. I looked up the meaning of the word baptism and it comes from words that mean ritual washing, immerse and dip. Well we know the symbolism of being immersed. The ritual washing- we make a covenant and are symbolically washed clean of our sins. Jon pointed out something which then sent me researching some more. He pointed out that remission with Cancer doesn't mean that the cancer goes away. So I looked up the meaning of remission. It means forgiveness of sins but also temporary recovery. Well baptism is a temporary recovery. We are forgiven of our sins, but it is not a permanent solution. The journey is not over and we continuously need 'treatments' of the Sacrament to renew our covenant and become clean again each week. Anyways, that was where my thoughts were, or at least my new thoughts concerning baptism.

 

Love you all! Talk to you soon!

Help me to show my trust in thee...

I think this will be short today. Everyone's busy and I'm a little down...

I think of what Katie (and a little of Carly) had to go through last Monday with Sarah. It broke my heart in so many ways. I felt so bad for Katie. She couldn't even talk and I had to get what really happened piece by piece. It's hard when you love someone so much. I was amazed at how well things were handled in the moment and then how the girls did dealing with it all and moving on. I then had a day where I just felt "sad".  I had an "aha" moment when I was saying my prayers. My prayer was "Help me to show my trust in thee by letting go." 

So we move on. My life is in such a weird place right now. I was able to do the tread climber 3xs last week for 40-50 min - slow, but still good (and my knees are ok). I think my supplements are working and I am sleeping. Now to lose weight.

And one last thing. I just want to say that I am not for abortion, except for rape or the health of the mother. I feel that we need to speak up for a child's rights when they can't. It doesn't matter to me whether the world thinks like I do or not. It doesn't matter to me whether they follow it or not. Carrying a child and putting it up for adoption is always an option. It teaches responsibility and consequences for our actions. That is what I think is right.

Shots, V-day, eye of the needle and families

So, this week I think started out slow. I don't really remember Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday George has a doctors appointment and shots :-( he's above the 97% for height and about 75% in weight. They showed me a graph with time on the bottom and height or weight on the left. There were lines for the 75%,the 95%, the 97% and then George's stats were plotted with a line as well. His weight is an improving curve but more rounded. His height is almost a steep line instead of the gentle curve. This means, at 2 months he was taller than the 97%but he is even farther away from that line now-he must be having a growth spurt. Anyways, he did better with the shots as far as being able to calm down sooner, but he ended up with a fever. We gave him Tylenol and he was so miserable and tired. He still looks a little tired to me but he's acting normal again and doesn't have a fever anymore. Friday we had institute, went to the library, and then went back to the institute. For the married institute class it's like potluck refreshments, so I took the time (since we'd be sharing) to try a dessert. I did low fat fudge brownies, then added chocolate pudding and a lot of chocolate chips. So triple chocolate. I think they tasted good. Others liked them, jon had the only complaint, and his complaint was that they were too gooey for his taste (but they still stayed together and you didn't need a fork).

Saturday was valentine's day. Honestly I hadn't done too much for jon. He woke up and made me awful waffles, heart shaped eggs, and served it with potatoes and yogurt. We went shopping for food for Sunday dinner (we invited some good friends over for sushi and tempura fried veggies and shrimp). Those same friends actually briefly met up with us on valentine's day too. My back hurts a lot now and so jon suggested a massage. We have a Chinese foot massage place on the south side of indy (also where the babies r us is, and we had points from our baby registry that would be expiring in a month. ) Anyways jon was willing to let me get a massage and skip one to watch George but I didn't think that was fair on valentine's day or very romantic. So we called our friends in Brazil who met us there. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Jon got me a dance game I really like for valentine's and my birthday. I got him star wars light Saber chopsticks, but there was a problem with the shipping. .. anyways, he challenged me to a dance off. Then we went shopping and then drove up to indy. I didn't want George to be miserable so I actually held him for some of the drive and let him look out the window. He loved watching the moving trees. So we got up there and went to dinner at a place I found out about in Louisiana, called johnny carinos. It's Italian but has a southern flair to it. Then I went to babies r us with George. We got some sippy training cups, some spoons, some baby oatmeal, and two outfits. We then walked through the toys and George liked a talking puppy (which is supposed to help teach letters, numbers, counting, body parts and colors but also sings songs. So we got that.  (I remembered something from Tuesday!  I went to a secondhand children's store here, to check it out and get a small toy for George after his shots. We got a cheap caterpillar toy that a friend recommended.  ) Then George started reaching out to an exersaucer. This particular one can be a mat, an exersaucer or break apart into two tables. We put that together tonight and he went to tired and a little cranky to tired but happy and exploring. It'll be great for him. He can already turn around in it and is curious about all the toys. Getting ahead of myself again though. So after babies r us, we got massages. We met up with our friends and gave them a sleeping George. Then after our massages, we went to a kids area in the mall and switched. We watched their little boy and they went and got massages. Jon walked with George to go get cheesecake from the cheesecake factory and then after all the massages, we drove home. Jon had rented breakfast at Tiffany's but we'll watch it another time. This morning we woke up early for choir practice. Then came home for lunch and a nap. Then our friends came out early for dinner and hanging out here since we had stake choir practice tonight. Anyways it was a busy week.

Spiritual thoughts have been a little scattered. First, in Sunday school they talked about how a prophet is never accepted in his own country and how the people of Nazareth had a hard time accepting Christ as the Messiah. Someone mentioned that this concept is foreign to us and that people in Utah are proud of the apostles and prophets. But I started thinking. People who know the prophets as they're growing up or intimately are privy to their faults and weaknesses. Sometimes it's hard to look past those faults and see a prophet. So many people research Joseph smith's flaws and then have a hard time accepting him as a prophet. The funny thing to me is, the prophets themselves remind us that there has only been and will only ever be one perfect man- that is Jesus. To see their faults is to realize that they are not hypocrites. They are not trying to claim a perfection they don't have. To see that they are human means they can be a prophet and are not the one and only messiah. For Jesus though, He claimed to be (and was/is) the Messiah. But we are told that he learned grace by grace, little by little. To see someone so normal, that is not normal but perfect and the Messiah... to me that seems like it would be much harder to accept.

Then they mentioned being rich and the eye of the needle. The teacher quoted it wrong but oh well. He said it's easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to be in heaven, but it says for a rich man to get into heaven. To me there is a big difference. On my mission it was always the poor who were willing to accept the gospel, be baptized and enter the gates of heaven, symbolically. I think in seminary was when someone explained to me that the eye of the needle was a sort of small overnight door. If the city gates were closed, you had to use this door. To get a camel through you had to take off whatever it had on its back, and someone who knew the camel had to coax it to kneel and get through. This process is easier than a rich man getting into heaven (or getting baptized), so today I thought, then it should require at least everything the camel does. A man ladled with riches must take off the load. Put them aside. Then someone who knows the rich man needs to encourage him (ie simply tracting in a rich neighborhood is not going to do it. He'll need a good friend). The rich man will have to humble himself (kneel down). Then, since the camel is easier, I imagine it takes something else that may change depending on the individual. This scripture does not mean it's impossible, nor does it mean there will be few rich people in heaven, it just shows how much of an obstacle wealth CAN be.

My last thoughts were on the family and come from a conversation I had with jon about the family proclamation and Satan attacking the family. He brought up gay marriage and how many members are very vocal about how it's Satan attacking the family. He brought up how Satan is attacking the family in other ways as well. I guess my thoughts are along the lines with, we should be equally vocal about all attacks on the family. I'm not saying we have to be more quiet on anything but I want to make sure that I'm not speaking out about one attack and excusing the others. " Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." This says man and woman, but it also says marriage. How many families are broken because of the fad to not get married, or for some other reason.  "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity." A man and a woman who are married but cheat on each other is an attack on the family. I have gained a strong testimony on what I feel this means. If a man looks at another woman and lusts after her, he hath already committed adultery in his heart. I don't think it is complete fidelity if his heart is an adulterer. Also a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife and none else. If a man confides in another he is not cleaving to his wife. One can emotionally cheat on their spouse. Children deserve this loving relationship. To lack it is an attack on the family. The pornography business attacks the family. A man is not cleaving to his wife when looking at porn. There are also other simpler things as well. If you are depressed and confide in someone besides your spouse, you have, at least temporarily, put that other person above your spouse.   "We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God." Domestic abuse is an attack on the family.  Twisting marriage to not be between a man and a woman is only one attack on the family.

Jon and I know we have room to grow. My favorite part of the family proclamation is the following part: "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." I know that these principles can help strengthen a marriage and families.

As a last side note, Michelle sent a really cute outfit for George. I will take pictures as soon as the outfit fits. :-) mom also sent some cute pjs, and some clothes, of which I think I have taken pictures.

Turn Your Thoughts into Words

Choices...Good Choices, Good Consequences. Bad Choices, Bad Consequences. (How many times have I told you guys that, especially Danny?)

Decisions Determine Destiny.

Thoughts turn into Words. Words turn into Actions. Actions turn into Habits. Habits turn into Character. Be careful where you turn.

I think this week I did pretty good with my thoughts and turning them into words. That's at least the first step. Too often, especially with our relationships we have the thoughts, but the words are sometimes hard. How many times do we wish we would have said something different or wish we hadn't said something at all? It's so hard to say "Sorry" or that you were wrong and the other person was right. Usually we just go on, trying to feel justified, but hopefully, learning and remembering for next time.

I guess this is more for married people, but it's true in all close relationships. We need to appreciate each other more and we need to express that appreciation. Have you ever justified a person's behavior because you loved them and surely they couldn't have done what others think they've done? We need to do that with our spouses or siblings or close friends. I'm not saying to be blind, but I'm saying to choose to think the best. Life will never be perfect, but we can choose to be happy every single day!

So I've told some of you this already, but on my birthday I text Dan in the morning. "I know how you feel about presents, but please don't waste your time shopping. Everyday with you is a gift. I want you to know I really believe that." "Also, you have given me not one present but a life where I can have anything and do anything I want every single day. Thank you for loving me so much you've given me your whole life."

I didn't plan on writing this. It has always been my thoughts, but seldom my words. So seldom that when Dan received the texts, his first thought was "Who has her phone?" That's a little sad.

So I challenge all of us to take the next step, turn your thoughts into words. And hopefully as we keep doing that it will then turn into Actions, which turn into Habits, which will turn into our Character.

I love you all!