Presenting George!

So this past week was very emotional for me. It started out Monday with an acupuncture/moxibustion appointment to try and get george to turn in the womb. (Moxibustion is close to burning your toes). Well we prayed he was turning. I had my appointment on Wednesday and the Dr said it appeared he was still breech. So he sent me over to his wife (the other side of the office) to do an ultrasound to confirm whether or not he was breech. He told me that if he was still breech I should consider a c-section. Delivering naturally when breech is possible and he had done it before but he says that 1 in 3 breech babies delivered naturally come out injured or die. So I had the ultrasound and he was still breech. I didnt see my Dr before leaving the office so I went home and we scheduled a Priesthood blessing for that evening. I still did not want a c-section so I wanted to see if the Priesthood blessing gave any hint of a possibility that he would turn on his own (not likely anymore but still possible). Well the blessing happened and we were reminded that modern medicine IS a miracle and to trust our doctors. So we felt that meant George was not going to turn. As much as I was not looking forward to labor and pains I didnt want a c-section. When I had my mole removed they numbed things but I could still feel the cutting, tugging and sewing, just without pain. I was not looking forward to being a human quilt again. And with gall bladder surgery they tore 4 holes through my abs and the c-section would be a large slice. I had a hard time lifting my purse after the smaller surgery and after a c-section i'd have a baby that I'd want to hold but not be able to pick up. I cried but I knew I cared more about getting George here safely than whether or not I could fully take care of him at first. We also decided we should schedule a c-section. Why wait to go through labor pains when we knew we'd need a c-section anyways? So Thursday I called to see when I could schedule it and the Dr said he could do the next day. I said ok, because I didnt want any more time worrying about the c-section than needed. Then the hospital was available at 8 am. Mom would not be able to make it, which did make me a little sad, but only one person would be allowed with me for the c-section. We went in at 5 am on the baby's due date and started going through paperwork and getting prepped. I withdrew and 'zoned out' to cope with the pain leading up to the procedure. Jon came in and surgery began. I focused on listening to george cry as soon as he started to avoid what was happening to my stomach. He was amazing. Of course, almost as soon as the procedure was over I started getting tired and wanting to sleep. But having George was a miracle. I loved him. When Jon left me by myself to go get Mom from the airport I was holding him and I realized that george was worth it. All that pain, for just one precious little boy, was worth it. He was so big- 9 lbs 14 ounces and so precious. Jon at one point said he looked like Grandpa Lang and I feel that's kinda appropriate. As one precious life is leaving, one precious new one has started.  Recovery is going well. It hurts and I cant stand up with George but I can hold him in certain positions and I can sit down while holding him. I cant get things from the ground but I can do some things. And at least I can hold him and snuggle with him. :)

Also, it is fun for me to watch Jon take so many pictures and post them on facebook. And then, it seems like every 5 minutes he is back on facebook seeing how many people have liked the pictures of George. :) I know Jon is loving being a new Dad.

Side note: I cried tonight when I told Jon that george got his very first mosquito bite tonight while I was watching him. :( It landed on his forehead and I went to hit it and realized I cant hit my baby... so I slowed down and touched the mosquito, but the mosquito had been there for a little bit. The mosquito did land on me shortly after and I had no problem slapping it and killing it on me. Serves that mosquito right for hurting my new baby!

Being Happy With the Small and Simple Things

I have felt so busy the past few weeks with my new job! So busy that I am falling asleep at about 9:00 every night. I feel like an old lady. I am really enjoying my job I just can't believe how much it takes out of me. There is a lady at work named Annie and I absolutely love her. She has such a positive attitude, she is great with the patients (even the eeediot ones), and is just so happy. I felt bad as I realized I have times where I am annoyed with patients and especially irritated with the drivers. Then I feel even worse when I realize these people are all Heavenly Fathers children and he loves ALL of them so why can't I. I have watched Annie over the last couple weeks and wondered how does she stay so positive and love all these people? I think it is because she focuses on being happy even with the smallest and simplest things.  I thought about that a lot this past weekend. I knew I needed to appreciate the many blessings I have in my life, even if they were small. I thought about Danny trying to keep things as clean as he could and cooking chicken for us all on Sunday so we could all try to be a little healthier. I thought about the children I was able to talk to about diabetes and help them realize they could be strong and not be so scared about doing shots. I thought about our new sweet little baby George straight from heaven( I keep showing everybody at work how cute he is!). And I thought about my calling and the opportunity I have to serve the sisters in my ward. Yesterday we were able to visit a very strong sister. Normally we just visit new members, but we decided to see how she was doing. As soon as we came in and sat down with her we told her how great we thought she was. She just started crying because she felt she wasn't living up to her potential. I immediately gave her a big hug and it felt so good to be there with her, the spirit was so strong. We all knew we were supposed to go to see this sister. I feel so blessed to have this gospel in my life and to know that Heavenly Father loves me. This week my goal is to be happy with the small and simple things. I think this will take a little patience at times but I know I will be blessed for taking the time to appreciate them! I love you all and I am so grateful for your love and support!

A Life of Faith!

As we all know life as a family has been a little hectic of late. It amazes though that even with all the craziness we can still see miracles. I have been thinking about the Plan of Salvation and how as a family we are experiencing two parts of it at the same time. Little George joined our family this week and we are all so excited and happy to have him (we all are now counting down till Thanksgiving so we can really meet our nephew!); then there is Grandpa, who is continuing to hold on for just a little bit longer. Not sure if this is doctrine, Heavenly Father is very concerned about how we come into this world and how we end it; He has given us commandments about not killing and the Law of Chastity to help send His little spirit children into a stable environment. I have been trying to go to the temple more often and every time I do; I just feel peace. I don't know all the answers to my questions but I feel a calm reassurance that one day I will know all the answers. Going off of last week a little bit of being analytical of myself and always trying to analyze why I do what I do. I have this picture of who I want to be, characteristics that I wish I had, and then try and figure out why I am not like that. Most of the time I think it is fear. When there is fear there cannot be faith at the same time. There was a song that I heard on my mission that is by Mercy River (I think that is the LDS band) but the chorus goes like this:
Has anybody told you, you're beautiful?

You might agree if you could se what I see.
'Cuz everything about you is incredible.
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me.

We were driving in our Relief Society's car and I heard this song and just cried. I love the message, because we are so incredibly beautiful to our Master! I wonder how big His smile was when all of us were born. As He handed us over to our earthly parents and promised that everything would be okay if we would only trust Him and follow His plan. Something the song doesn't talk about, but, I know is true is- how big is His smile when we have accomplished what He has designed for us and we come back home to Him. He must be so proud of us and how we overcame different trials and allowed our faith in Him to overpower our fear. We have George who just came to this earth and is starting his journey, and Grandpa whose work here is done and it is time for him to go home. Then there is us sometimes running or skipping down the path, and other times crawling and stumbling down it. There will always be times of both. What I am constantly learning is that my part is to just try my best, live without all the fears of "what if" and to just see His plan unfold before me. I am learning to let go of the fear of "what if, His plan is not what I wanted." Silly me, that has happened so many times before and it is so much better! He will not give me something I do not want, or something that will not make me happier in the end.