Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Sealing and reflections

Well a lot has happened recently, but you were all there for it, so I'll just give thoughts this week instead of giving a time line.

With genealogy, I had a random thought. In baby blessings you often hear, "the name you will be known throughout your life and on the records of the church is....". Jon pointed out that baby blessings are not an ordinance, there is no exact phrasing required and that phrase is more tradition, like how we often say, "please bless the food, that it will make us healthy and strong" even if we're about to eat desserts and know God isn't going to magically make it healthy. But then with genealogy work, females use their maiden name. Even though jon and I have been married for three years and my legal name is Jamie Matthews, they still used Lang. If there is any doctrine on the matter, I don't think it matters but I wonder if my name is still Jamie Barbara Lang and the changing of the last name is just a tradition we hold to like exchanging rings to show others we belong together. Like I said, I don't think this really matters, but it was just a thought I had.

Then the actual sealing, I knew it would hit me when it happened, but I still thought (for some strange reason) that I wouldn't cry. But I did. A favorite moment: they brought George in to be sealed to us and he looked at me, binkie in his mouth, and gave me one of his good smiles.

I have also felt a lot of joy this week. I have an eternal family. Forming a new link, making a new generation, being sealed to jon and George reminded me of the eternal family I grew up in. I don't know how to explain what I felt or the full extent of what I felt on Saturday.

Being sealed also made me reflect on the past. I may have mentioned it before but Alma 38:12 (I think), says, "bridle all your passions that ye may be filled with love". There is also an opposite. When you do not bridle all your passions you end up on an emotional Rollercoaster (for any males reading this: I'm talking more than normal Pms and feminine mood swings). I knew I loved Jon but I had a hard time feeling that he loved me. I can also vouch for the fact that getting married does not solve the problem. I'm sure the following is true for any sin, big or small: stopping does not mean you've repented and it doesn't solve anything, there is still more to repentance. It took awhile for me to repent of my sins, even though I had stopped sinning, and it took even longer for me to learn how to apply the Atonement to myself based on someone else's sins. We know that Christ not only suffered for our sins but also our pains, sicknesses and sorrows, but learning to apply that was hard and I don't know if I've really learned it but I've felt it in my life and hopefully  would be able to apply it easier next time, cause in this world full of imperfect people, I'm bound to get hurt at least once more.

And lastly I've thought a little about addiction. I didn't really understand it a few years ago. One thing I learned is, once an addict, always an addict. Now this may sound depressing, and it is a little, or it may sound hopeless but it's not. A recovering addict may never yield to temptation again- that's hopeful. But it's still different than an average person. Let's say the addiction is alcohol. Imagine you are somewhere and are not addicted to alcohol. There are triggers for every addict, let's say one is extreme sadness . You reach a point and a sign says you have reached extreme sadness. Now you are not an addict, but ahead you see a sign for alcohol. You have many choices, you can walk to that sign, you can walk backwards, away from sadness, walk in any other direction or even just stand still and stare at the sign that says alcohol. Now let's say you are addicted to alcohol- the scene changes slightly. Once you reach the sign that says extreme sadness, you are already on an escalator heading down to the sign that says alcohol. You can't go to the right or left and you can't merely stand there. You still have a choice but you have to actively walk back up that descending escalator and turn away from the alcohol sign. An addict who doesn't want to succumb again learns to avoid the triggers, they look ahead for the signs that will lead towards their addiction. Some of those triggers are inevitable though. When they're foreseen, the addict can prepare himself to be ready to walk away and resist the pull. But if the trigger is something like extreme sadness, and someone dies suddenly, they have to have a plan in place to help them resist.
I can say that it's hard. It requires major lifestyle adjustments, but there is hope. You learn to make plans to help cope with certain triggers and to avoid as many triggers as possible. Life isn't about pushing the limits. We should try to seek out the best movies, the best books, the best TV shows. Life isn't about who can see the worst movie ever, or how many bad movies one can see. Neither should it be about how many triggers we can reach and then resist temptation. We shouldn't seek temptation, but we should know our weaknesses and be prepared. Go about doing good and trying to get closer to the Savior instead of skirting the edges, full of temptations, triggers, cliffs and sorrow. Make boundaries for yourself to avoid temptation, not sin. And when you have a family make those boundaries for the weakest (see the beginning of D&C 89).

Just Some Thoughts-

     Im sorry I am a day late, Mondays are now my busy days :( School has started and I am tired already. I had 5 classes yesterday and boy was it a long day! (one of them I do not have to go to, the one that I TA for, but I like it and I will probably miss here and there when I am super tired or am behind on work). Day one and I already have a lot to do; I have found myself on 3 intermural teams, taking 6 hardish classes, got a job (TA position) and then we are trying to get this new Relief Society Presidency rolling. So, I went to bed early last night because I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. But I figured it out- inter murals and Relief Society activities will be my main social life and then its just school and keeping up on grading papers as a TA. I will be exercising in swim class and then on my various teams- so it will be a stressful fun semester! Oh and I have an appointment with my counselor to talk about Malawi and some other things- now we just need dad's approval and this will get started. Everyone I talk to are 1. super excited for me and 2. jealous! I don't know where it will take me but for now it feels like I am at least supposed to start going down this path.
     I guess my thought on the Christmas break: I think it has been one of my favorites. It was so nice to just be a family again. I realized that I really haven't been home with everyone for 4 years, someone is gone doing something amazing or it was filled with getting stuff done. So, mom, it was nice to have everything planned. We planned what we thought was most important and for us, that is family dinners with yummy food! ;) It was fun eating together, cooking and cleaning, playing games, watching movies and getting errands done to throw another awesome party! We are kinda amazing. The sealing was beautiful and George was the perfect baby for the job, no fussing just looking around the room and holding onto Jamie's finger. The Spirit was there and it comforts all of us to have the blessings of the sealing power apply to our family.
I know we made a difference for grandma and grandpa. I think it went better than we expected. Going to the temple with them to help them do our relatives that were close to them. Just seeing them tear up and thank us multiple times shows that they appreciated us and the tiny sacrifice we made to give an afternoon of our time. Plus, now we have a good starting point to continue to do our families work.
Being home for christmas was what I needed. I so often forget all the good things, get wrapped up in my own life and my own path that I forget how much I love being home. I read an article last night in the December ensign and a part really rung true to what I have been feeling every since I came home from my mission. I am not too worried about dating and getting married, I try my best to be outgoing and talk to people and make myself available; trusting that God will provide if I am doing what is right. Then, there was a statement that talked about how we should build upon the eternal relationships we already have while waiting to find our eternal companion. So, no I am not married and not even really close to that but I have siblings, parents, cousins, grandparents that I do not always know that much about. These are the most important relationships that I often take for granted- so I should take the time that I am given to build my relations with my sealed family while working on starting my own. (Don't take this the wrong way I will still have other friends too). Also, in the article it made the statement to take every travel opportunity which i found odd. I wondered why did they put that in- I feel like I have done that and continue to do that (wanting to go to Samoa/Tonga/Africa). Then I hypothesized that some single adults never explore the world because they are afraid of missing their opportunity to get married, they don't want to leave Provo or wherever because of what if. I realized that I am very opposite of that mentality and I am grateful for that. I have been privileged to go to many places and it has helped strengthen my talents to love regardless of differences.
    I am like mom where I miss home already, but I know it will be okay. Our paths may take us different directions but the greatest blessing is knowing that because of the sealing power we can all have our paths meet up again if we obey our covenants and follow the prophet! I miss you all and love you. Not sure when we will all be together again but I pray it will be sooner rather than later. 

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Don't like it, but life goes on.

We don't like it, but life goes on...

I'm not very happy today. Carly, Cassie and Katie left this morning. I miss them. Said goodbye to Danny and Michelle that leave tomorrow, although they'll be back. Jamie, Jon and GEORGE leave tomorrow and I don't know when I'll see them. I just want one simple thing. I want us all to be together.

But it's like we stand at a crossroads with 8 different roads stretching out in front of us. We each have a different road to take. We know that somewhere they will connect again. We know each road will be filled with adventure, fun, struggles and the unknown. There's a tinge of anxiousness of something new and also a sadness of leaving the old and what we love.

I'll admit that although it will be a lot of work packing up Christmas, cleaning the house, returning gifts, doing laundry, making beds, getting back in a routine and exercising, setting and starting to reach new goals - I'm looking forward to it. I'm ready just like all of you are ready to either get back to your old lives or starting new chapters in your life.

Life is getting more complicated. I don't really know when we'll all be together again, but I know we are sealed. We can be together again, someday and whether that day is sooner or later, it brings me peace knowing that is true. What a blessing!

But tonight, tomorrow and for a little while I have a heavy heart. I don't like it, but life goes on. I hope you all know how much I truly love you and want only the best for you. My purpose in life is to help you get those things in your life. My next hope it to be a part of it and be able to share it with you.

Thank you for the love you give to me. Thank you for the caring people you are. Whichever road you take, my heart will be with you always.

I love you.

xo Mommy