Monday, January 12, 2015
Brought up strong
My main thought for this post is to acknowledge my appreciation for our strong upbringing. From both mom and dad we have had two exceptional examples of who we should model our lives after. Yes of course we all try to follow the example of Jesus, but sometimes we forget how to recognize if we are doing our best to do so, and from the examples we have in mom and dad we have seen what to do. I have found many times in my life that I am questioning how I am doing and I do a sort of self-assessment. There have been times when I don't make the cut and other times when I have been so hard on myself and down about my life only to realize that I was doing everything I could. We know how important it is to right ourselves when we have wandered of the 'straight and narrow', yet I think sometimes we forget that we can at times be harder on ourselves than need be. Being positive and optimistic as we have been counseled to be, in all things and especially with regards to ourselves can be a tremendous help and change in our lives. It is not always easy to be happy, but I believe there is little to any reason to remain unhappy for any extended period of time. So let's limit how long we are feeling down, and remember what the Lord thinks of us and our potential. Keep our heads up, and keep up the good work. When you're feeling down, remember all the good you've done. We are who we are and we do what we do for the Lord and for our families, not for recognition. Ever feeling downtrodden then you can give me a call for a pep talk on how much I appreciate you and who you are :) Love you all!!!
In Life it's not who Wins the Game, its How you Play the Game
Last Thursday Julie had a water polo game against Newbury Park. We knew it would be tough. It also was the day we retired the #11 - Veronika's number. Most of you I think at least know who Veronika was. She was shot and killed last Memorial Day weekend.
She wasn't the best player. She was often a little too physical. She got upset and got discouraged and even depressed at times. She would walk around with her headphones on and her hood up and would shut out the world. At one time she wouldn't talk to anyone, but Katie. But I also saw a different side. I saw her smile, have fun, laugh and work hard. She had more than one dinner at our house with the younger girls. One time she helped make posters for the older girls. She loved the younger girls and was natural at nurturing them. She put her whole heart into everything. She played each game, giving her all. She had a hard shot and often had tape wrapped around her wrist. She wasn't pretentious and she stood her ground. She lived in our neighborhood and would bring Katie home quite a bit before Katie was driving. Katie considers her a good friend. She was friendly. She was polite. She was appreciative.
There's a plaque with her name and number on it on the pool deck of the high school and a banner. We also presented the parents with a shadow box with her cap in it. It's really nice. We had purple balloons since that was her favorite color. I had made cookies for the team and for those who came.
I SO wanted to win. We were down 5 -1 and then came back and went into overtime. We were up by 2 with 1:30 on the clock. Everyone knows how much these girls have gone through. We only have one sub. Our team has fallen so much and we've gone through three coaches. The coaches haven't lived it and don't really understand what these girls have gone through. The present coach doesn't even care and doesn't want to be concerned with the past. But these girls. They play because they love the game. They play because they do have heart and they may not be the best, but they play THEIR best and it shows. I have so much respect for these girls. There is a sisterhood that is formed. They are there for each other.
I wanted to win for Veronika - it would have been the perfect day. But we lost in the last second. With only one sub, one girl got rolled - no subs. Then they rolled Annie, our best player and then rolled Audrey, also a good player. We played down two girls. There was no way to cover all of them - and yet, it was still so close. I still can't believe it. I know at one time the clock wasn't running when it should have been and those few seconds cost us the game. I was so sad.
But then something sank in.
The girls gave it their all. The girls played with heart. They gave it everything they had. They didn't quit three years ago and they didn't quit now - even though I'm sure all of them have thought about it. Sometimes the score doesn't show who really wins. Sometimes the world may not even recognize the winner or the truth. I'm sure the NP girls have a lot of respect for us.
But that's how it was with Veronika. She was shot and killed at 19. Her dad at the memorial said something like "Most people try to live each day to the fullest. Veronika lived each minute of each day to the fullest. She didn't live long, but she lived a full life." It isn't fair. Veronika didn't win.
We don't win - most of the time, but that doesn't mean we quit playing. We keep going and we give it all we've got. We give our heart. And it's not about water polo and it's not about the score.
Oh, I wish we still would have won, but I'm glad we didn't. I'm glad we didn't because I'm afraid that in the elation of the win, I would have missed the lesson.
It's not who wins the game, it's how you play the game. In life, if we play with all our hearts and with intensity and passion, like Veronika, we will succeed. It was a great day. It felt good. I was happy that her parents stayed and enjoyed a great game - a game played like Veronika played. I'm sure it was a healing moment for them and brought them comfort. What a tragedy. She didn't win and we didn't either. I felt proud to know Veronika, felt proud of these girls and honored to be in their presence. It was a perfect day.
She wasn't the best player. She was often a little too physical. She got upset and got discouraged and even depressed at times. She would walk around with her headphones on and her hood up and would shut out the world. At one time she wouldn't talk to anyone, but Katie. But I also saw a different side. I saw her smile, have fun, laugh and work hard. She had more than one dinner at our house with the younger girls. One time she helped make posters for the older girls. She loved the younger girls and was natural at nurturing them. She put her whole heart into everything. She played each game, giving her all. She had a hard shot and often had tape wrapped around her wrist. She wasn't pretentious and she stood her ground. She lived in our neighborhood and would bring Katie home quite a bit before Katie was driving. Katie considers her a good friend. She was friendly. She was polite. She was appreciative.
There's a plaque with her name and number on it on the pool deck of the high school and a banner. We also presented the parents with a shadow box with her cap in it. It's really nice. We had purple balloons since that was her favorite color. I had made cookies for the team and for those who came.I SO wanted to win. We were down 5 -1 and then came back and went into overtime. We were up by 2 with 1:30 on the clock. Everyone knows how much these girls have gone through. We only have one sub. Our team has fallen so much and we've gone through three coaches. The coaches haven't lived it and don't really understand what these girls have gone through. The present coach doesn't even care and doesn't want to be concerned with the past. But these girls. They play because they love the game. They play because they do have heart and they may not be the best, but they play THEIR best and it shows. I have so much respect for these girls. There is a sisterhood that is formed. They are there for each other.
I wanted to win for Veronika - it would have been the perfect day. But we lost in the last second. With only one sub, one girl got rolled - no subs. Then they rolled Annie, our best player and then rolled Audrey, also a good player. We played down two girls. There was no way to cover all of them - and yet, it was still so close. I still can't believe it. I know at one time the clock wasn't running when it should have been and those few seconds cost us the game. I was so sad.
But then something sank in.
The girls gave it their all. The girls played with heart. They gave it everything they had. They didn't quit three years ago and they didn't quit now - even though I'm sure all of them have thought about it. Sometimes the score doesn't show who really wins. Sometimes the world may not even recognize the winner or the truth. I'm sure the NP girls have a lot of respect for us.
But that's how it was with Veronika. She was shot and killed at 19. Her dad at the memorial said something like "Most people try to live each day to the fullest. Veronika lived each minute of each day to the fullest. She didn't live long, but she lived a full life." It isn't fair. Veronika didn't win.
We don't win - most of the time, but that doesn't mean we quit playing. We keep going and we give it all we've got. We give our heart. And it's not about water polo and it's not about the score.
Oh, I wish we still would have won, but I'm glad we didn't. I'm glad we didn't because I'm afraid that in the elation of the win, I would have missed the lesson.
It's not who wins the game, it's how you play the game. In life, if we play with all our hearts and with intensity and passion, like Veronika, we will succeed. It was a great day. It felt good. I was happy that her parents stayed and enjoyed a great game - a game played like Veronika played. I'm sure it was a healing moment for them and brought them comfort. What a tragedy. She didn't win and we didn't either. I felt proud to know Veronika, felt proud of these girls and honored to be in their presence. It was a perfect day.
Reflections - Jan. 11, 2015
This past week I have been trying to wash, clean up, get trash out, pack up and do returns from Christmas. I've been busy, still not completely done, but almost. It seems so long since Christmas was here. It seems so long since you guys left, and it's only been a week.
I think I've been reflecting on things of the past, present and future.
I've thought about my life in joining the Church and where that road has taken me and the things I've learned. I was reading a talk from Boyd K. Packer and he was talking about his conversion. He said, "Much of what I have come to know falls into the category of things which cannot be taught but can be learned." I have learned so many things - God exists. He lives, he loves me. His son is Jesus Christ, who is my Savior and through him I can return home. The Holy Ghost testifies of these truths and many more. He comforts and guides. He is the member of the Godhead that makes it possible to know things that our bodies cannot otherwise know. I am a Child of God and he knows me. He loves me. He wants to give me everything he has.
I've thought of the present - I have such wonderful children and we were all together. I am so proud of all of you and don't tell you that enough. I am so grateful for the love that we share and the testimonies that we have. We didn't do anything special and I miss the days when we just "hung out" and you guys played video games all day (and I got mad at you and thought you should be doing something else). It was fun to have the girls come home New Year's eve and come up to my room to "check in". We stayed up until 2:00 I think, just talking. We didn't do a lot, and I was feeling a little bad about it. It was nice to hear from Jamie and Cassie in her blog, how nice it was to just "Be Home". It was nice and it did touch my heart, especially on Christmas morning. Thank you for being kind and loving to my parents. Grandma called the other day just to say thank you for the card. I assured her it wasn't me - it was you kids. Thank you.
And I think of the future - all of you going different directions. I have no worries. We will have challenges and struggles, but we all strive to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I don't know where our lives will go, but with the Lord, it will be for our benefit. We will learn and grow and love. We are here to share the talents that have been given to us. I think of Katie not being here next year, and everyone else for that matter (those that are married). It fills me with gratitude for where Katie is right now. I am excited and sad (because I know I will miss her). I need to call and bug her more...because I can:)
And I think of the future and where I need to go. I am always taking care of everyone else and I know I need to take care of myself. This week I realized that I hold myself back because I don't take care of myself. I have a misconception that if I do take care of myself then I will be selfish, or I won't be fully following the Lord if I don't give my absolute all to someone else, each day. I know that it is not worldly. Just like I want you guys to take care of yourself, I need to take care of myself. I need to love myself more. I need to be the priority. I can let some things go and give myself the time and not feel guilty. (of course when I was reading this over I thought of Maren and had to text her to see if she needs help packing). I need to overcome my struggles and it will be hard and no one really understands, but it doesn't matter. I need to not quit because it's hard or that one thing isn't working. I need to not get discouraged when something doesn't work, but realize that there are other things to try. I need to be patient. I need to be patient...and listen. The new year is exciting and I feel ready.
I think I've been reflecting on things of the past, present and future.
I've thought about my life in joining the Church and where that road has taken me and the things I've learned. I was reading a talk from Boyd K. Packer and he was talking about his conversion. He said, "Much of what I have come to know falls into the category of things which cannot be taught but can be learned." I have learned so many things - God exists. He lives, he loves me. His son is Jesus Christ, who is my Savior and through him I can return home. The Holy Ghost testifies of these truths and many more. He comforts and guides. He is the member of the Godhead that makes it possible to know things that our bodies cannot otherwise know. I am a Child of God and he knows me. He loves me. He wants to give me everything he has.I've thought of the present - I have such wonderful children and we were all together. I am so proud of all of you and don't tell you that enough. I am so grateful for the love that we share and the testimonies that we have. We didn't do anything special and I miss the days when we just "hung out" and you guys played video games all day (and I got mad at you and thought you should be doing something else). It was fun to have the girls come home New Year's eve and come up to my room to "check in". We stayed up until 2:00 I think, just talking. We didn't do a lot, and I was feeling a little bad about it. It was nice to hear from Jamie and Cassie in her blog, how nice it was to just "Be Home". It was nice and it did touch my heart, especially on Christmas morning. Thank you for being kind and loving to my parents. Grandma called the other day just to say thank you for the card. I assured her it wasn't me - it was you kids. Thank you.
And I think of the future and where I need to go. I am always taking care of everyone else and I know I need to take care of myself. This week I realized that I hold myself back because I don't take care of myself. I have a misconception that if I do take care of myself then I will be selfish, or I won't be fully following the Lord if I don't give my absolute all to someone else, each day. I know that it is not worldly. Just like I want you guys to take care of yourself, I need to take care of myself. I need to love myself more. I need to be the priority. I can let some things go and give myself the time and not feel guilty. (of course when I was reading this over I thought of Maren and had to text her to see if she needs help packing). I need to overcome my struggles and it will be hard and no one really understands, but it doesn't matter. I need to not quit because it's hard or that one thing isn't working. I need to not get discouraged when something doesn't work, but realize that there are other things to try. I need to be patient. I need to be patient...and listen. The new year is exciting and I feel ready.New Years Resolutions
So, this week has been busy with trying to adjust to being back home. George has been pretty good (he's always good) but he's been "fussy" (in quotes because it's only fussy for George) more. I don't know how much of that is because there aren't as many people to hold him, because I think I do a good job of holding him most of the day and gradually getting back into a schedule with him. Some of it I think is the time change. He had started going to bed at 10:30 and sleeping through the night. Now I'm lucky if he is asleep by midnight and only wakes up once. I know- things could be much worse. I'm just trying to help him adjust again. He is definitely biting more and I'm 90% sure he's started teething. I have a thing to massage his gums that he really likes. The first time I gave him a frozen teether he did not like the coldness.
This weekend we got set up with a family pass to the YMCA. Lehua, a friend from Church got us a deal. We went for the first time this morning. George liked the daycare (which means I can get a good workout in regardless of whether or not he's sleeping). There are two locations in Bloomington, the other one has a bigger track that I think I can walk with George on. For today, I got 25 minutes of cardio in (a good start for me because I haven't been in shape for awhile.) and some sit-ups and stretches. Then picked up George from the daycare and we (Jon, George and I) got into swimsuits and went to the splash pad area of the pool. It was heated to 80-something degrees- colder than George is used to. It was both sad and funny to see his whole chin do the brrr-shiver thing and his chubby cheeks jiggled too. He still had a decent time but he kept wanting more heat and body heat from snuggling. We didn't stay too long but we practiced our floating, kicking and standing and played with one of the toys at the splash pad. Then we went to the family bathroom and gave George a nice warm shower which he really liked.
I'm still finalizing some goals for myself. I have tried to break it up into spiritual goals, mental (educational goals), health goals, my marriage, George or family goals and personal goals (a certain amount of goals just for me, for fun- for my emotional well-being). One of my goals is 15 minutes of personal scripture study. I have started doing this while nursing. I also have given myself 15 minutes of fun reading- Ive been doing this while nursing as well. Then when George naps I can take a shower, clean, do school or take a nap too occasionally. Once a month I want to spend an hour on geneaology. Jon and I are going to attend the temple at least every other month- it's an all day thing here with a minimum 2 hour drive each way- but one time it took me 4 because of snow and construction. I want to do sit-ups daily (minus Sunday) and cardio at least twice a week with an additional outing with George (most likely a walk in the stroller). Also I'm trying to start a routine with George of reading the scriptures. Hopefully by the end of the year we'll have finished listening to the Book of Mormon in both Spanish and English. I know he's still young, but this way the routine will be in place by the time he will remember and understand more. There are so many goals but I am trying to keep them simple. I have 15 minutes of dishes daily as a goal-because I'm not good at dishes but I'm happier when they're done. May you make good goals for yourselves. Keep them attainable and don't push yourself in too many different directions-make sure you take care of your needs too. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
This weekend we got set up with a family pass to the YMCA. Lehua, a friend from Church got us a deal. We went for the first time this morning. George liked the daycare (which means I can get a good workout in regardless of whether or not he's sleeping). There are two locations in Bloomington, the other one has a bigger track that I think I can walk with George on. For today, I got 25 minutes of cardio in (a good start for me because I haven't been in shape for awhile.) and some sit-ups and stretches. Then picked up George from the daycare and we (Jon, George and I) got into swimsuits and went to the splash pad area of the pool. It was heated to 80-something degrees- colder than George is used to. It was both sad and funny to see his whole chin do the brrr-shiver thing and his chubby cheeks jiggled too. He still had a decent time but he kept wanting more heat and body heat from snuggling. We didn't stay too long but we practiced our floating, kicking and standing and played with one of the toys at the splash pad. Then we went to the family bathroom and gave George a nice warm shower which he really liked.
I'm still finalizing some goals for myself. I have tried to break it up into spiritual goals, mental (educational goals), health goals, my marriage, George or family goals and personal goals (a certain amount of goals just for me, for fun- for my emotional well-being). One of my goals is 15 minutes of personal scripture study. I have started doing this while nursing. I also have given myself 15 minutes of fun reading- Ive been doing this while nursing as well. Then when George naps I can take a shower, clean, do school or take a nap too occasionally. Once a month I want to spend an hour on geneaology. Jon and I are going to attend the temple at least every other month- it's an all day thing here with a minimum 2 hour drive each way- but one time it took me 4 because of snow and construction. I want to do sit-ups daily (minus Sunday) and cardio at least twice a week with an additional outing with George (most likely a walk in the stroller). Also I'm trying to start a routine with George of reading the scriptures. Hopefully by the end of the year we'll have finished listening to the Book of Mormon in both Spanish and English. I know he's still young, but this way the routine will be in place by the time he will remember and understand more. There are so many goals but I am trying to keep them simple. I have 15 minutes of dishes daily as a goal-because I'm not good at dishes but I'm happier when they're done. May you make good goals for yourselves. Keep them attainable and don't push yourself in too many different directions-make sure you take care of your needs too. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
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