She wasn't the best player. She was often a little too physical. She got upset and got discouraged and even depressed at times. She would walk around with her headphones on and her hood up and would shut out the world. At one time she wouldn't talk to anyone, but Katie. But I also saw a different side. I saw her smile, have fun, laugh and work hard. She had more than one dinner at our house with the younger girls. One time she helped make posters for the older girls. She loved the younger girls and was natural at nurturing them. She put her whole heart into everything. She played each game, giving her all. She had a hard shot and often had tape wrapped around her wrist. She wasn't pretentious and she stood her ground. She lived in our neighborhood and would bring Katie home quite a bit before Katie was driving. Katie considers her a good friend. She was friendly. She was polite. She was appreciative.
There's a plaque with her name and number on it on the pool deck of the high school and a banner. We also presented the parents with a shadow box with her cap in it. It's really nice. We had purple balloons since that was her favorite color. I had made cookies for the team and for those who came.
I SO wanted to win. We were down 5 -1 and then came back and went into overtime. We were up by 2 with 1:30 on the clock. Everyone knows how much these girls have gone through. We only have one sub. Our team has fallen so much and we've gone through three coaches. The coaches haven't lived it and don't really understand what these girls have gone through. The present coach doesn't even care and doesn't want to be concerned with the past. But these girls. They play because they love the game. They play because they do have heart and they may not be the best, but they play THEIR best and it shows. I have so much respect for these girls. There is a sisterhood that is formed. They are there for each other.
I wanted to win for Veronika - it would have been the perfect day. But we lost in the last second. With only one sub, one girl got rolled - no subs. Then they rolled Annie, our best player and then rolled Audrey, also a good player. We played down two girls. There was no way to cover all of them - and yet, it was still so close. I still can't believe it. I know at one time the clock wasn't running when it should have been and those few seconds cost us the game. I was so sad.
But then something sank in.
The girls gave it their all. The girls played with heart. They gave it everything they had. They didn't quit three years ago and they didn't quit now - even though I'm sure all of them have thought about it. Sometimes the score doesn't show who really wins. Sometimes the world may not even recognize the winner or the truth. I'm sure the NP girls have a lot of respect for us.
But that's how it was with Veronika. She was shot and killed at 19. Her dad at the memorial said something like "Most people try to live each day to the fullest. Veronika lived each minute of each day to the fullest. She didn't live long, but she lived a full life." It isn't fair. Veronika didn't win.
We don't win - most of the time, but that doesn't mean we quit playing. We keep going and we give it all we've got. We give our heart. And it's not about water polo and it's not about the score.
Oh, I wish we still would have won, but I'm glad we didn't. I'm glad we didn't because I'm afraid that in the elation of the win, I would have missed the lesson.
It's not who wins the game, it's how you play the game. In life, if we play with all our hearts and with intensity and passion, like Veronika, we will succeed. It was a great day. It felt good. I was happy that her parents stayed and enjoyed a great game - a game played like Veronika played. I'm sure it was a healing moment for them and brought them comfort. What a tragedy. She didn't win and we didn't either. I felt proud to know Veronika, felt proud of these girls and honored to be in their presence. It was a perfect day.