Just A Lil Something

Well, I have no idea what to write - but this is for you Jamie ;) Finals are next week I have a huge project that I should have started a long time ago but didn't. It was one of the few things I procrastinated on and man it is biting me in the butt now! I am taking a break from it to write this. I have been working on it all day and trying to find uplifting things to do as breaks instead of waisting my time on Facebook or something like that. So earlier mom told me that Dee, Shane Laguna's girl friend, is getting baptized this weekend. I have met her a few times and she is a super sweet girl and so I wrote her a note as this morning's break. Then I have done other homework and such as my other breaks.
This weekend was good- I decorated my Christmas tree and made a few snowflakes while watching Hallmark videos and trying to do homework, other work and clean the apartment- multi tasking at its finest! I got pretty thrifty with the tree (the star is made out of trash bags covered in foil and then I have ribbon tied on and candy canes and paper snowflakes. I love it but I miss having people to help me. I have been a little bit like Jamie and thinking what can I give to my Savior this year- last year we tried to get as many lessons as possible before December 25 and that was really fun because I knew it is what he would be doing if he were here. I still don't know exactly what I want to do- but I know I want to reach out to maybe some of my converts and families in Hawaii, or make an added effort to share the gospel with old friends back home.
Mom came back to Provo on Saturday and we had a great lunch and then went to see the Tree of Life, that was the best part of the night! Then, I was so grateful to have mom's help in figuring out at least my school schedule for next semester.. though it still might need some tweaking.
Sunday, I was called to be the First Counselor in the Relief Society President and so I had meetings starting at 7am and was busy the rest of the day, with trainings, ward counsel, church, running choir (no one on the music committee comes), being set apart, break the fast, making a cake for grandma at the cousins dinner, Christmas devotional, cousins dinner then ward prayer. It was a crazy day- I was so tired but somehow had the strength to do it all- thanks to Heavenly Father for giving me the energy. I am really excited for the calling, I already feel happier with staying here in Alpine. I am trying to turn over a new leaf and start this upcoming semester with a fresh look and trying to just be me and becoming everyones friend! (Not that I wasn't trying- but starting again with renewed energy)
I am very excited for Christmas Break. Sad because I like my classes and will miss them but excited for next semester too :) I Love You ALL!!!! 

Christmastime

A lot of different thoughts today. Updates first: George is moving. He isn't rolling over without help, but if I put him in the middle of the pack and play he magically scoots to the side where he's trying to eat the mesh sides when I get up to feed him. He's also talking and smiling and laughing more. His favorite noise is 'goo' and the doctor said that's awesome if he's already using a consonant. He spits up more now and will occasionally wake up crying as if hurt- it's a sad cry.  :( he also had his first round of shots last week. Even though he was hungry and I was trying to nurse him, it took a good 10 minutes to calm down afterwards.  :-( he half cried and half ate his way to sleep after. :-( But now that's over and he's better and healthier. We also cleaned a lot and have our Christmas tree up. I don't know where the rest of our decorations are.

So thoughts I had this week. First, I was reading a talk by President Uchtdorf and he mentioned how scientists used to think it was just the milky way galaxy and then that was it. I started thinking on a tangent to his talk. Eternity is hard for me to grasp, especially going both directions. And to think there's no end to what's out there in the universe is hard to comprehend too, but as I was thinking, I realized, it would be really weird to get to the end of the universe. What would it be a drop off? A wall? If there's no wall, what would our eyes see if there's nothing there. Darkness? But darkness means we just can't see what's there instead of there actually not being something. Anyways, I realized that as hard as it is to grasp eternity and the endless expanse of the universe, it seems much more illogical for it to just end. Jon and I read the wheel of time series and each book talks of how the wheel goes around and around, there is no end and no beginning but then says but it was a beginning. A story has to start somewhere. We give ourselves a beginning when we are born, at the new year, when we move somewhere new or reach a new chapter in our lives, but it was not the beginning, just a beginning. Abrupt beginnings and endings don't make sense even if it's hard to think of eternal worlds and eternity.

Second, gifts. There's a Mormon message called He's the gift, that's great. It makes me want to think of things He has given me and things I can give Him. I like the materialistic gift giving, but I also want to remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas. (P.S. if you can think of gifts He gas given us or that we can give Him, I've started a list and want to start some type of tradition with it. Like an advent calendar or something that reminds us of His gifts or gifts to give Him. I'm still in a brainstorming phase.

Last but not least. Our ward Christmas party. Jon and I were Joseph and Mary and George was baby Jesus. We didn't have to talk but walked around with an acted out audio recording. We rehearsed it twice and it felt a little weird, but the night of I decided to think about what I was acting out while I was doing it. I almost cried on stage thinking about what if I were Mary and George was baby Jesus. I feel like George is already a miracle and I started to feel a little overwhelmed thinking, what if I was a virgin and was told I was not only pregnant, but my baby would be the most important man to ever walk the earth? I feel so privileged to have George and he is very special and I love him so much. Once again, I can't fully comprehend what Mary felt but I got a glimpse, and I was so grateful to have the chance to be her this year. Many people said they loved it or that we were perfect and it was a really great experience. Many of the children were really touched, one asking if he was the real baby Jesus. Knowing some of the feelings after, I wonder what it would've been like to allow the primary children to come up on stage to be "in the manger". I think it could've been really cool. Anyways, as my friend laughed and pointed out. It was perfect and George was awesome, and then the modern contraption of the plastic bottle came out (he was really hungry and we didn't have time to feed him right before). It was still perfect though. :-)

Thankful

Alright, so I didn't do an update last week, I just wrote a ransom note that no one read and/or took seriously. I really do look forward to hearing from people but so often there's no post. Not too much happened the week before, we had all been sick recently and we were limiting how much we left the house. Two Friday's ago, George and I drove with Jon to his job in Illinois. He doesn't normally have classes on Friday but he scheduled makeup lessons then since he had to be there to direct the children's choir at the town's Christmas festival. It was supposed to be cold so we bundled up George. George and I walked around the small community college and then dinner before the festival. The festival was set up around their town square and it was freezing. I had George in layers and then a carrier and then I wrapped my winter coat around him and a blanket to cover his head when needed. It still got cold and so George and I walked through the stores around town square. Then we went outside to brave the cold for the performance, got hot chocolate and left. To emphasize how small the town is where jon works, there are two grocery stores, Walmart and a local one, 2 pizza places and 3 restaurants (one closed down) and 4-5 fast food places. I know there are smaller towns but I don't know if there are smaller towns that are considered to be the big town in the area with the regional Walmart and community college.

So now onto last week. Last Monday was one of my busiest days. I say that because I got ready with George all by myself and then we went to the bank, did laundry, went to Sam's Club and a grocery store, picked up lunch, went shoe shopping (my feet have grown from being pregnant and I needed some shoes for different cold occasions, like tennis shoes, closed toe church shoes and nice casual shoes), fed George, finished shoe shopping and finally returned home. I found jon had made me mac and cheese and pudding and had left it in the fridge (he made both and took half to Illinois with him), and was able to play with George a little bit before making my packing list, doing a few things on my computer and finishing laundry. When Jon got home at 10, he helped me fold laundry and then took care of George while I packed. I was up til 1:30 and we got up at 4:30 for our flight. We spent time with Jon's family and I don't remember everything anymore but it was nice. Jon's family all loves George, and two of his aunts talked about holding him and debating if they want another, but they both think they're done. Friday was mainly with you guys except getting ready that morning. It takes me at least twice as long to get ready now because I have to stop at random times to feed George. Saturday morning jon and I went to the temple with his parents and did initiatories and sealings (the endowment session was full) and then to lunch with extended family and then the natural history museum. George really liked the nature and animal pictures but he did not like one picture of a barn owl. He also really liked half of the dinosaur bones and a wall of skull heads of horned dinosaurs, including the triceratops. Then George stayed with grandma Patsy and Jon and I went to buy garments (I only bought one pair because of availability). Side comment, I still don't love the bottoms, they need to make some that don't come up so high. I got petites and they come up above my belly button and the tall tops I think are longer, they feel like a mini dress, but the nursing top I got this time is MUCH better.

Then Sunday and George's baby blessing. I'm so grateful for George. I'm grateful for the plan of salvation and to see someone leave and enter this mortal life so close together. I'm so grateful for the Priesthood and that Jon blessed the baby. I'm grateful for the friends and family who came too. My friend brandon and Kristi came, Brandon was one of the boys from freshmen year and one of my mission companions who grew up in Jon's stake and knew him, she came with her new baby boy and her husband. I'm thankful for temples and the church and for jon and how he tries to be his best self. I'm thankful to be in a home and for health insurance that kicked in, just in time.

When traveling I know I will have to share George and I don't mind, but I come home feeling like I've neglected George. He hasn't been neglected, but I spent a lot of time holding and talking to him today. I forgot to mention that Saturday, in addition to going to the temple that morning, I went to a movie that night. I was gone from George for 6 hours. Granted I was with him for most of his time awake and he was played with and fed while I was gone, but I wanted to speed home from the movie and felt very needy. I got home and found George (who was peacefully sleeping)and just held him and kissed him. Then I had to put him down for a minute to take out my contacts and get ready for bed before snuggling with him again. I missed him SO much. That was really hard for me. Although it was nice to see a movie and the temple is a great thing, in the future I don't know if I want to do both in the same day.

Now we're home and I'm grateful to be home.  Today was all about me and George. George and i went on a "field trip" by watching animals from the San Diego wild animal park set to classical music.  I think the giraffes were his favorite. Tomorrow we get back to the balance of real life, which is still mostly about George but I get more stuff done.

Pictures...and No Cassie, George was up for ransom last week and I wrote my blog first! He's mine!!!!

Family and Change can be Good

I want to take a minute. Thanksgiving weekend was great. To be with my sister and her family and my parents was the first in about 16 years. It wasn't for an event, but we actually got to spend time together. AND my family, all of us, were able to spend time together.
I know it wasn't always easy, but I also realize that all of us have been going through change this year. I think that we all are stretching and growing and sometimes that is unsettling and tiring and pushes us all to our individual edges (which changes from day to day). But we continue to love and support. That I know. We may hurt each other, we may feel unappreciated and taken advantage of, but that is never the intent. I know you all know that I love you, even in my imperfections.

George is one LOVED baby! Our "Big Fur Ball" (Jon's words, not mine). It was nice to be with our family and extended family and the Matthews family. It really made me realize how wonderful our families are. A very nice day, nice blessing, for one very nice baby!

When Jon's dad bore his testimony today he mentioned that he was grateful for the gospel, that made him more gentle, more accepting and more loving. That stuck with me because it's not what you often hear in a testimony. It made me think of the Book of Mormon and the love I have for that book. When I read and study that book, it sticks with me. It changes me and I know the spirit that it brings into my home and family when we read it. In the Book of Mormon it's all about reminding us to have a "soft heart" and when we have that the atonement will work in our lives. I guess it's all about change and I guess change is good.

So if change is good... Then it was a great weekend, a weekend of "Family" and everything that means. Now everyone is gone and we are waiting to return home tomorrow. It was good and in 3 weeks there will be change - a semester of school will be over (for the college kids) and we will be together again for Christmas! I think I like that kind of change:)

A Simple Miracle!

Yes I get to hold George first!!!! For a really long time :) Catching up on the blog was on my list so I am trying to be better I might do smaller posts but more often to make it up. A simple miracle describes today. Nothing huge happened but a lot of little things did. I woke up early after not really sleeping last night and went to breakfast to say goodbye to Mommy, Daddy and Julie. Had a normal day of classes but just felt happier today. (I think family was my rejuvenation!) These next 2 weeks will be kinda crazy with finals, projects due that I haven't started but thought of, applying for HEFY, figuring out Malawi, making sure that I am in the right major, should I double major, grad school, interns, what I want to do with my life, what will I do spring and summer, figuring out my schedule for next semester, if I get a job I want it to do with something that will benefit me and then still trying to be social, make friends and maybe go on dates... Oh and then I was feeling a bit guilty for not really staying in touch with people from the mission for a while.
Today I found out that one of my investigators that I had taught for about 7months finally got baptized over the weekend by one of my favorite elders. I was so happy for her! So I messaged her, then another woman that was less active. I read 3 articles and got 100% on the quizzes, finished a paper, had an appointment with a counselor (I found out that I would do well with military and landscape management, medical services would bring me the least satisfaction according to this test I took) Well, I realized that I am going to have to do a lot of research to figure it out. But now it is night and I am tired and still have more to do but I still feel happy- I didnt get everything done, but gosh I did a lot. I am in the process of applying for HEFY now and finishing up a blog post even if it isn't the greatest. I am very grateful for the family we have- we aren't perfect but we build a lot more often than we tear down. I love you all! Don't know what it is in the air but I feel a bit more optimistic about life even though I still have nothing figured out. To me that is a simple miracle! 

George for ransom

I've decided I'm holding George for ransom. Payment: blog post on how the last month has been for you. Reward: holding George.  Ideas for blog posts: DC, trip to Utah and Idaho,  dates, luau, car accidents, favorite general conference talk, job, etc. Who can resist a cute face like George's?

Life - Is not of this world. We need to do it the Lord's way.

Hanelei Bay-Bldg 9

Waimea Canyon

Cassie sent me a talk that she was giving in Sacrament last week. She said that she didn't feel like anyone was really listening. Are we sometimes like that?

Anyways, it got me thinking

We come to earth, we gain a body. It is an honor. We are given this body to use, to bless, to love, to purify. We are here to do God's work and have him work in us. As we do we strengthen and clean and purify our bodies. When we get to a certain time we are given gifts to help us stay strong and clean. The Endowment. As we keep our covenants we are shielded, protected from the world. We are blessed. Our outside bodies can remain clean. There is work to do on the inside. To take this body and to clean the heart with love. To purify the mind with light and truth. To let the blood of the atonement flow through us. To make forgiveness possible. To prepare ourselves to have charity, the pure love of God. Then in the end we will have made ourselves clean and pure, but still not perfect. We have bumps and scrapes and bruises for all the times we've fallen. We have areas of weakness that we did not sufficiently strengthen. As we follow the steps to his throne we will be guided, we will prove that we have done all we could and we will lay ourselves at the Savior's feet. We will let his cloak of mercy surround us. It will hide the bumps and bruises. It will be our final gift as we walk together side by side, I'm sure with the Savior's arm around our shoulder as He announces our return to Our Father. The Savior will remove the cloak and for just an instant we feel that we will turn to ash, but the scars and bruises are gone.

That moment when all knowing, we are a Child of God, he knows us by name, and loves us.

North Shore

I think of CS Lewis' remarks when he relates life to building a cottage only to find out that the Lord has different plans. He is tearing down walls and building a mansion.

I think of Nephi when he was building the boat "not after the manner of men".

Some Falls that starts with an "O" :)

We need to remember to "Lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better."

And I need to add a few more pictures from Kauai:)
xo Mommy