A lot of different thoughts today. Updates first: George is moving. He isn't rolling over without help, but if I put him in the middle of the pack and play he magically scoots to the side where he's trying to eat the mesh sides when I get up to feed him. He's also talking and smiling and laughing more. His favorite noise is 'goo' and the doctor said that's awesome if he's already using a consonant. He spits up more now and will occasionally wake up crying as if hurt- it's a sad cry. :( he also had his first round of shots last week. Even though he was hungry and I was trying to nurse him, it took a good 10 minutes to calm down afterwards. :-( he half cried and half ate his way to sleep after. :-( But now that's over and he's better and healthier. We also cleaned a lot and have our Christmas tree up. I don't know where the rest of our decorations are.
So thoughts I had this week. First, I was reading a talk by President Uchtdorf and he mentioned how scientists used to think it was just the milky way galaxy and then that was it. I started thinking on a tangent to his talk. Eternity is hard for me to grasp, especially going both directions. And to think there's no end to what's out there in the universe is hard to comprehend too, but as I was thinking, I realized, it would be really weird to get to the end of the universe. What would it be a drop off? A wall? If there's no wall, what would our eyes see if there's nothing there. Darkness? But darkness means we just can't see what's there instead of there actually not being something. Anyways, I realized that as hard as it is to grasp eternity and the endless expanse of the universe, it seems much more illogical for it to just end. Jon and I read the wheel of time series and each book talks of how the wheel goes around and around, there is no end and no beginning but then says but it was a beginning. A story has to start somewhere. We give ourselves a beginning when we are born, at the new year, when we move somewhere new or reach a new chapter in our lives, but it was not the beginning, just a beginning. Abrupt beginnings and endings don't make sense even if it's hard to think of eternal worlds and eternity.
Second, gifts. There's a Mormon message called He's the gift, that's great. It makes me want to think of things He has given me and things I can give Him. I like the materialistic gift giving, but I also want to remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas. (P.S. if you can think of gifts He gas given us or that we can give Him, I've started a list and want to start some type of tradition with it. Like an advent calendar or something that reminds us of His gifts or gifts to give Him. I'm still in a brainstorming phase.
Last but not least. Our ward Christmas party. Jon and I were Joseph and Mary and George was baby Jesus. We didn't have to talk but walked around with an acted out audio recording. We rehearsed it twice and it felt a little weird, but the night of I decided to think about what I was acting out while I was doing it. I almost cried on stage thinking about what if I were Mary and George was baby Jesus. I feel like George is already a miracle and I started to feel a little overwhelmed thinking, what if I was a virgin and was told I was not only pregnant, but my baby would be the most important man to ever walk the earth? I feel so privileged to have George and he is very special and I love him so much. Once again, I can't fully comprehend what Mary felt but I got a glimpse, and I was so grateful to have the chance to be her this year. Many people said they loved it or that we were perfect and it was a really great experience. Many of the children were really touched, one asking if he was the real baby Jesus. Knowing some of the feelings after, I wonder what it would've been like to allow the primary children to come up on stage to be "in the manger". I think it could've been really cool. Anyways, as my friend laughed and pointed out. It was perfect and George was awesome, and then the modern contraption of the plastic bottle came out (he was really hungry and we didn't have time to feed him right before). It was still perfect though. :-)
