George for ransom

I've decided I'm holding George for ransom. Payment: blog post on how the last month has been for you. Reward: holding George.  Ideas for blog posts: DC, trip to Utah and Idaho,  dates, luau, car accidents, favorite general conference talk, job, etc. Who can resist a cute face like George's?

Life - Is not of this world. We need to do it the Lord's way.

Hanelei Bay-Bldg 9

Waimea Canyon

Cassie sent me a talk that she was giving in Sacrament last week. She said that she didn't feel like anyone was really listening. Are we sometimes like that?

Anyways, it got me thinking

We come to earth, we gain a body. It is an honor. We are given this body to use, to bless, to love, to purify. We are here to do God's work and have him work in us. As we do we strengthen and clean and purify our bodies. When we get to a certain time we are given gifts to help us stay strong and clean. The Endowment. As we keep our covenants we are shielded, protected from the world. We are blessed. Our outside bodies can remain clean. There is work to do on the inside. To take this body and to clean the heart with love. To purify the mind with light and truth. To let the blood of the atonement flow through us. To make forgiveness possible. To prepare ourselves to have charity, the pure love of God. Then in the end we will have made ourselves clean and pure, but still not perfect. We have bumps and scrapes and bruises for all the times we've fallen. We have areas of weakness that we did not sufficiently strengthen. As we follow the steps to his throne we will be guided, we will prove that we have done all we could and we will lay ourselves at the Savior's feet. We will let his cloak of mercy surround us. It will hide the bumps and bruises. It will be our final gift as we walk together side by side, I'm sure with the Savior's arm around our shoulder as He announces our return to Our Father. The Savior will remove the cloak and for just an instant we feel that we will turn to ash, but the scars and bruises are gone.

That moment when all knowing, we are a Child of God, he knows us by name, and loves us.

North Shore

I think of CS Lewis' remarks when he relates life to building a cottage only to find out that the Lord has different plans. He is tearing down walls and building a mansion.

I think of Nephi when he was building the boat "not after the manner of men".

Some Falls that starts with an "O" :)

We need to remember to "Lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better."

And I need to add a few more pictures from Kauai:)
xo Mommy

Cassidy - The Sacrament and the Atonement (Posted by Mom)

Sorry this is so small. I'm having problems copying it from email. Since people aren't posting, (Jamie's good), I'm going to post this. It's a talk Cassie gave last Sunday. I like it and it got me thinking and then writing my post. So I thought I'd post this first.


 “And it came to pass that Jesus commanded his disciples that they should bring forth some bread and wine unto him.

2. And while they were gone for bread and wine, he commanded the multitude that they should sit themselves down

upon the earth. 3. And when the disciples had come with bread and wine, he took of the bread and brake and blessed

it; and he gave unto the disciples and commanded that they should eat. 4. And when they had eaten and were filled, he

commanded that they should give unto the multitude. 5. And when the multitude had eaten and were filled, he said unto

the disciples: Behold there shall one be ordained among you, and to him will I give power that he shall break bread and

bless it and give it unto the people of my church, unto all those who shall believe and be baptized in my name. 6. And

this shall ye always observe to do, even as I have done, even as I have broken bread and blessed it and given it unto

you. 7. And this shall ye do in remembrance of my body, which I have shown unto you. And it shall be a testimony unto

the Father that ye do always remember me. And if ye do always remember me ye shall have my Spirit to be with you.”

Much of my talk will be based on Elder Hamula’s talk “The Sacrament and the Atonement,” Sister Esplin’s “The

Sacrament- A Renewal for the Soul,” both in this past general conference, and my own personal experiences. Every

week we come to church and partake of the sacrament. It is the only ordinance that we repeat every week. Sister

Esplin says, “The sacrament gives us an opportunity for introspection and an opportunity to turn our heart and will to

God.” Obviously it is extremely important, and yet, I struggle focusing my thoughts for those 10 min to be on the

Savior. My mind wanders and I have to catch myself and I try to regain my focus. Elder Hamula talks about what we

should focus on during the sacrament, “With torn and broken bread, we signify that we remember the physical body of

Jesus Christ - a body that was buffeted with pains, afflictions, and temptations of every kind... We signify our belief that

while that same body was laid to rest in death, it was raised again to life from the grave.” As I read that I thought, our

bodies are similar- all of us have been hurt our bodies have been torn, bleed, bruised and laden with burdens. I am not

trying to say that we have suffered what Christ has but we can try to understand the pain He suffered for us with our

own experiences because it was our pains that He felt. It is so easy to say that Christ has felt everything I am going

through; but, I am slowly beginning to see that it is time that I stop saying the words and start feeling them instead.

Even though we will hurt a lot in this life, we can know that despite the pain we will rise again. And after this rise we will

be brought back into our Father’s presence. Elder Hamula poses, “The fundamental question facing all of us in not

whether we will live but with whom we will live after we die. While every one of us will return to the presence of God,

not every one of us will remain with Him.” “The sacrament prepares us to ‘see the face of God, even the Father, and

live.”’ I do not want to meet Heavenly Father and think, “Shoot, question, did I take the sacrament last week? Did I take

the opportunity to be made clean for this moment? When I was given this talk, Brother Easly suggested that I take a

day to think about the Atonement and the sacrament- well I work at the temple and so I figured that would be the

perfect day to focus my thoughts. As I was helping people with the endowment session a very old lady came to me,

she couldn’t stop shaking and her voice shook as well. As she proceeded with the endowment her shaking slowly

stopped. Before she left me, we exchanged glances and both of us were teary eyed. She understood the temple, the

Atonement, and her attendance was a testimony and it shone bight. She honored her baptismal covenant and always

remembered Christ.

From the scriptures that I read (3 Nephi 18: 1-7) I want to focus on a few words that have caught my attention as I

have pondered the sacrament. Brake, Blessed, Gave, Filled, and Testimony. A quick mission story:

“The minutes tick by- my companion and I wait by the door. The day to see if our work will be paid off- will all the

people we committed to come to church be here? 5 till, its starting, we sit in the back to be able to spot our

investigators, less actives and recent converts so that if they do come they will not feel weird walking to the front. I

check the door and window every few seconds. The opening song ends and I peak during the prayer to welcome them

if they come... The doors close, I sit silently and tears fill my eyes. I scan the room my heart breaks as I realize how

many people I love are not getting the blessings they need. They needed this strength for the burdens their bodies will

face this week. How did Christ do it? Sorrow engulfs me, what more could I have done? I take the blessed bread and

scan the room and this time see something different- all the faces that are here. The strong members that have come

for years, the mom of a convert family of a few weeks coming while her husband is struggling because she knows

where she needs to be. The Spirit fills me. My heart is being made whole again because my Savior knows how I feel,

has felt this sorrow but He knows how to succor me and fill me as well. Filled with a renewed strength. I can handle

another week, I can stand as a testimony for Him, evern if it this bad.”

Every week we come here, but in what attitude are arriving? Sometimes I come and think myself strong enough that I

am doing okay; it is usually the days where my pride blinds me to the many ways I am broken. Then there are the days

where I recognize that I am a broken thing needing mending by my Maker. Those days are the ones that have been the

most meaningful . One day I will stand as a resurrected being before our Heavenly Father and remember all of the times

when I willingly rebelled and made dumb dumb choices. But, I hope that I will remember many more times when I came

to Him broken and humbled truly needing His healing more than anything. I will remember the many times He blessed

my life and He will fill me with hope and make me whole again; my testimony strengthened and in turn standing as a

testimony for Him to see that I never gave up but kept trying even through my mistakes. I know

Anniversary

So this last Tuesday, Jon and I celebrated our three year anniversary. He made reservations at a local bed and breakfast and dinner reservations at their restaurant (which is known for their bakery and has two sandwich places in town too. Their restaurant is a bit nicer though). Well we checked in, Jon left for work and I went home to pack an overnight bag for us and George. Then George and I hung out at the Inn and waited for Jon. It was very nice and we got George ready for dinner (dressed him up too) and got a bottle ready, just in case he got hungry too. We had a nice time and a nice breakfast in the morning too. We all have taken turns having a cold this week too.

A little about George: he's smiling more and trying to mimic basic sounds. He's also awake and alert more. He's good at tracking movement, as well. He's on the verge of baby laughter and is interacting more. He definitely does not like dirty diapers but loves bath time. We take occasional family baths and he likes floating, kicking, moving his head and trying to flip over (but he doesn't like drinking the water). His legs are getting strong and so is his back, his neck is just a little further behind- but his neck is still strong. With how big and strong and alert he is, we wonder if they had his due date wrong.

Spiritual thought: I went to our married student institute class this week (it was cold and George was still pretty congested, so we're limiting taking him out). They were talking about self-reliance. One person brought up the almost oxymoron that the church wants us to be self-reliant which depends on relying on Christ. They mentioned a few categories, including, health, education, career, social, emotional and spiritual well being. These are things we can focus on to become more self-reliant. They should also be priorities. So with last week's thoughts, I want to make sure I'm focusing on education, my health (so I can keep going and have energy for everything), make sure I stay emotionally and spiritually healthy as well as take care of my family. I have a few priorities set, but I really liked the lesson.  (It was from an institute manual... I can't remember which one, but on eternal marriage or families).

And now, of course, some pictures.  :)

I Know You Want To be Here, But I Feel Closer to You There

 

As you all know, Dad and I are in Kauai and Julie went to Provo/Idaho. I really wanted to be with my kids and Cassie really wanted to be back in Kauai.

I texted Cassie, "You must be homesick. Once again, we find ourselves emotionally tied and not together." Cassie had posted a message on the Kaleheo fb page. She texted "Everyone is excited to meet you!! Just have fun. I know you want to be here...But I feel closer to you with you there meeting the people that took care of me when I missed home."

I wonder if the Lord is preparing us for the future. I hope we can be together often and live close. I feel like I've sacrificed my whole life for that and want it so badly that it brings me to tears often (just ask Michelle, she's my "Crying Buddy" on this one:) ) But Cassie's words took on a deeper meaning, "I know you want to be here...But I feel closer to you with you there meeting the people that took care of me."

I think of Norma. We miss her. We know she would want to be here, but I also know that she has been close to you, even closer to you - when you are doing and going where you should be. I know she has been with Carly when she was in Argentina, I know she was with Cassie during her tough times, was helping Katie move away from the dark and towards the light as she went to her gravesite every month on the 19th. I'm sure she was with Danny when in stressful times he stops to watch a sporting event and realizes that Norma is there to cheer him on. I'm sure she is there when Julie gets into one of her creative moods and gets into a project, like she and Norma would play. And I'm sure she was there to witness George's birth, when I was not. Norma would want to be here with us, but she is actually closer now than she would be. It is a good thing.

It also brought Dad and I to tears, as one is rolling down now... as we went to church in Kaleheo, where Cassie spent the last 9 mos of her mission. So many love Sister Lang! I can't describe it. She made a difference. We were met with leis. People were excited. They were choked up and held back tears talking about her (and that was the men, as well as the sisters). The Bishop and others said that there will be generations that will know her name, that it will grow and will flow back to Sister Lang. He said that she is everything you would want a missionary to be. Thank you for raising such a wonderful girl, we heard over and over. They LOVED her!

To know that one of your children made such an impact on people's lives makes me feel something I can't really explain...it makes my life meaningful, like my whole life was spent to prepare this child for this one event and it was all worth it. If for that one child to have one moment like this - it gives all meaning and purpose to life. If there was nothing else - it would be enough. Enough that it brought Dad and I both to cry about it as we talked about the feelings we were feeling.

And then, to have 6 children who I know have done similar things (I know there are people in your missions that love you like they love Cassie) AND will continue to do these things, it makes me proud, but also completely humble. I feel slightly like John the Baptist when the Savior came to be baptized. I feel honored and humble, "the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to unloose."

Now, Carly may be thinking "I wish I didn't have to be a Traveling Sister" (or whatever they called you). Cassie has said how she wishes she learned another language. I know Danny and Jamie both loved their missions, but may be thinking that they wish things would have been different.  And I would be saying, "I wish I could have served" and "I want us all to be together often and to all live close", but what I know is that the Lord will guide us.

This is from Emily Beukers email this week.
God has a plan. A lot of things don't make sense at times but every time I have doubted God he has ended up being right in the end. There's a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Everything I have seen makes me trust the creator for everything I have not seen."

"I know you want to be here, but I feel closer to you there!" I'm grateful that we are close!

"You've got mail! "

I just wanted to say that this blog makes me eager like a small child on Christmas morning. I'm like a missionary waiting for mail. I really look forward to hearing what is happening with everyone, so much so that on Mondays I'm checking almost hourly (George willing) to see if anyone has posted anything new. Even if you didn't do much, it means a lot to me. I know everyone is busy, maybe print out your post and glue it in your journal for a personal record of your week, or something so you can kill two birds with one stone. I love you all and your posts are special to me.

His grace!

Okay, I know that I have not posted in a while so I will try and write two. The worst part was I had totally written something last week in my journal that I was going to share and then completely forgot to post it. So that will be right now (this is my break from a paper that is due tomorrow and studying for a test tomorrow ;))
     Today I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the things I have been given. I was able to finish my thiamin project and still get to bed at a decent time. I managed to see a movie with Amy and Maddison and build that relationship, I served Kennedy when I brought her back dinner because she hasn't been feeling well with we don't know what. I helped Dorff find the admissions office so he can petition to get into BYU. I spent time with Paul Morris (an Elder from my mission) when he came home. I am seeing Sister Duke and the Kawasakis tonight! I supported the RS Enrichment night, I made it to Poly dance class and institute when I was feeling a little panicked about the presentation that I wasn't sure how long it would take me. I went to institute and then had a volleyball game that didnt start till 9:30- I invited Mckenzie and Carlos to come and they did. I was hoping to work on my presentation while waiting for volleyball but since no one showed the few people needed more hands to play and how do I say no when then I know it will be miserable for everyone else. I shaved my legs when I was tired. I reached out to Rachel even though our plans fell through. I have been graced to be able to get all of these things done. I have scheduled my appointments to get volunteering at the hospital, I have set up a time to learn family history with Kyle Clawson, and I did my first new names at the temple and did really well! I texted Pono because I came across his favorite scripture- I miss him! I sent off E. Uaisele's letter and found Kyles and need to send that one off. It is all coming together and it is not because of me. I would maybe have the strength to do one of those things on my own everything else was because of His Grace. He gives me so much strength to help those around me. T I read my scriptures today in 2 Nephi 28:30 "line upon line..." I came here to Provo with lots of questions and not wanting to be here but knowing I was supposed to be here so I stayed. I wasn't excited about so many missed sundays with regional conference then temple dedication. My answer came in the temple dedication when President Monson said, "Go to the temple and you will find your purpose." Well, I went and I felt like I need to work there and as of week 2 I love it. I have found lots of beauty here in Provo even though I am so cold. I have tried to stay busy, ask a friend I am always doing something or supporting someone and that makes me happy. I am so tired but there isn't anything that I would take out if I didnt have to. I asked, "Why do you love me so much?" "Because you are my daughter and are so special.""I know I am special because You could never create something ordinary." We are all given gifts and if we give Him ourselves He will magnify our gifts and grant us more. Today I feel Him close and I am so grateful for that!"
   That was from a few weeks ago. We really are so blessed and it is because of our willingness to give what we can and His grace! I love you all :) 

"Choose Wisely" by Quentin L Cook

Jon and I try to attend "Friday forum" every week. The institute here has sign up sheets and people take turn using the institute budget to cook a meal and or share a musical number. Then after people have their lunch, we listen to a talk, usually from general conference, or a guest speaker from the stake and then discuss the talk. Well I have really enjoyed the past two weeks, but I'm going to focus on this Friday's talk which was by Quentin L Cook from this past general conference during Priesthood session. And more specifically about two things he mentioned. He said "decisions determine destiny" and that "we need to "rise above rationalizations and distractions".

1. Rationalizations. He related a story of a young man who said he wanted to go on a mission and was avoiding serious sin but still was not doing what he should. He was rationalizing, thinking that avoiding wrong was all he needed. The guest speaker from the week before in Friday forum and talked about the 13th article of faith and how we should be seeking after what is good and praiseworthy instead of just avoiding r-rated movies (as an example). I had a companion who told me a visual representation that has stuck with me. On one side is a cliff, where we can fall, and on the other side is Jesus Christ. In between the two is space to walk. She pointed out that our goal in life should not be to show how brave we are by walking the cliff's edge, but how close we can get to the Savior. It is not enough to avoid wrong, we need to make good choices that are consistent with our covenants and will help prepare us for where we want to go. I'm not perfect and some of the TV shows jon and I watch may not be the best out there, but we're trying. One thing we have started doing (and there is one movie we have not seen despite Jon's family saying it was really good because of it) is looking at imdb's page for a show or movie we're considering watching and we look up the parents guide. I feel it is a valuable tool that allows you to know what nudity, violence, language, adult material, etc, might be in it.

2. Distractions.  Quentin L Cook says, " I believe Elder Dallin H. Oaks’s inspired message distinguishing between “good, better, best” provides an effective way to evaluate choices and priorities.19 Many choices are not inherently evil, but if they absorb all of our time and keep us from the best choices, then they become insidious. Even worthwhile endeavors need evaluation in order to determine if they have become distractions from the best goals." I really like Elder Oaks' talk and have been meaning to reprioritize now that I have George. What are the most important things I need to get done each day? And then I need to do my best to at least get those things done and if I have extra time I can work on good or better pursuits after the best have been completed. It was like the story with Mary and Martha. Martha was trying to get household things done so they could all enjoy a nice meal and tidy home, but Mary chose to listen to the Savior. Mom said she didn't used to like that story because she felt she had a lot in common with Martha. Mom is a hard worker and similar to Martha, but her priorities were similar to Mary. They were about taking care of her kids first and her relationships. There is nothing wrong with taking care of the house, as long as our relationship with God, spouse and family has been worked on first. Those relationships are what is best, and a little time on our selves too to replenish our souls and allow us to keep going. I need to realize that, although dirty dishes stress me out, and although they are important, my relationships with God, Jon and George are more important. When we listened to the talk I thought about Nephi and his brethren going to get the plates. The first time they were trying to be obedient but had no plan, that was a good choice. Then they made a plan to be obedient, a better choice. Then last, Nephi went with the plan of relying on the Lord- the best choice. Sometimes our choices are best when we include the Lord, sometimes it's a matter of whether or not to do family history, spend time with family, or clean- all good things. This last week I've decided I need to figure out what is best for me at this time in my life. Obviously, school is and reading scriptures. I have to figure out when I can do other good things without neglecting myself, Jon or George- things like exercise, and housework and visiting teaching and being a member missionary.