As you all know, Dad and I are in Kauai and Julie went to Provo/Idaho. I really wanted to be with my kids and Cassie really wanted to be back in Kauai.I texted Cassie, "You must be homesick. Once again, we find ourselves emotionally tied and not together." Cassie had posted a message on the Kaleheo fb page. She texted "Everyone is excited to meet you!! Just have fun. I know you want to be here...But I feel closer to you with you there meeting the people that took care of me when I missed home."
I wonder if the Lord is preparing us for the future. I hope we can be together often and live close. I feel like I've sacrificed my whole life for that and want it so badly that it brings me to tears often (just ask Michelle, she's my "Crying Buddy" on this one:) ) But Cassie's words took on a deeper meaning, "I know you want to be here...But I feel closer to you with you there meeting the people that took care of me."I think of Norma. We miss her. We know she would want to be here, but I also know that she has been close to you, even closer to you - when you are doing and going where you should be. I know she has been with Carly when she was in Argentina, I know she was with Cassie during her tough times, was helping Katie move away from the dark and towards the light as she went to her gravesite every month on the 19th. I'm sure she was with Danny when in stressful times he stops to watch a sporting event and realizes that Norma is there to cheer him on. I'm sure she is there when Julie gets into one of her creative moods and gets into a project, like she and Norma would play. And I'm sure she was there to witness George's birth, when I was not. Norma would want to be here with us, but she is actually closer now than she would be. It is a good thing.
It also brought Dad and I to tears, as one is rolling down now... as we went to church in Kaleheo, where Cassie spent the last 9 mos of her mission. So many love Sister Lang! I can't describe it. She made a difference. We were met with leis. People were excited. They were choked up and held back tears talking about her (and that was the men, as well as the sisters). The Bishop and others said that there will be generations that will know her name, that it will grow and will flow back to Sister Lang. He said that she is everything you would want a missionary to be. Thank you for raising such a wonderful girl, we heard over and over. They LOVED her!
To know that one of your children made such an impact on people's lives makes me feel something I can't really explain...it makes my life meaningful, like my whole life was spent to prepare this child for this one event and it was all worth it. If for that one child to have one moment like this - it gives all meaning and purpose to life. If there was nothing else - it would be enough. Enough that it brought Dad and I both to cry about it as we talked about the feelings we were feeling.And then, to have 6 children who I know have done similar things (I know there are people in your missions that love you like they love Cassie) AND will continue to do these things, it makes me proud, but also completely humble. I feel slightly like John the Baptist when the Savior came to be baptized. I feel honored and humble, "the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to unloose."
Now, Carly may be thinking "I wish I didn't have to be a Traveling Sister" (or whatever they called you). Cassie has said how she wishes she learned another language. I know Danny and Jamie both loved their missions, but may be thinking that they wish things would have been different. And I would be saying, "I wish I could have served" and "I want us all to be together often and to all live close", but what I know is that the Lord will guide us.This is from Emily Beukers email this week.
God has a plan. A lot of things don't make sense at times but every time I have doubted God he has ended up being right in the end. There's a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Everything I have seen makes me trust the creator for everything I have not seen."
"I know you want to be here, but I feel closer to you there!" I'm grateful that we are close!
