In a Tunnel? - We can have light and it can be light!

So the Agoura/Westlake Wards had a Women's Conference this Saturday. The theme was "A Heart Like His". Brooke wrote a song and it started out with the words, "If the Lord opened my heart, what would he see? Would it be bruised and broken, empty, or made of stone. We have loved ones that love, but sometimes we need more. We need Him. He is tender. He is strong.

The main speaker was April Perry and I guess she's a blogger. She spoke about a blog she wrote. You know how you hear the saying, "Light at the end of the tunnel", well why can't we have light in the tunnel. She had a unique way of speaking/teaching and it engage you instead of just listening. She made it personal. She asked everyone to think of a struggle that they are dealing with, that they just can't share with others. It's something they keep private. Then she asked to think about that challenge and ask the question, "What does this challenge make possible?' She asked what tools we have to get light in the tunnel. She spoke of prayer and scriptures. What can I DO to receive light? The Brother of Jared asked, "Do I have to cross these waters in darkness?" and the Lord responded, "What would you have me do?" We have to "do". We need to "tie" ourselves to the Savior.

In Romans 13:12 it says, "The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.

When we think of armor we think of putting on something heavy. Sometimes in the mist of troubles we just can't think of doing one more thing or feeling any more burden. We just can't. This is how Satan wants us to feel. It is NOT a burden, to put on the armor of light. When we put on the armor of light we can go to the Lord with confidence to be with us, to help us, to lead the way. That confidence is earned by doing.

D.C. 50:25, "And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you;".

The past couple weeks I've been feeling like everything is going good with everyone, even though we can't be together. This week things seems to have been shaken a little. I know that as we go through life and deal with all the things that life brings us to make us stronger or happens because of our actions and presents a learning opportunity or even that it is allowed just because it's not necessary to not happen - we can have light and it can be light.

Life is Good Always.

• 
  

A tougher week

So this week hasn't been bad, but it was tougher. We found out jon did not pass his major field exam and his teacher has been a little bit of a jerk about it. The grad office told Jon to sit down with each of the professors and figure out where there expectations were not met and how to fix things for a retake. Well he scheduled one appointment and his main teacher canceled the appointment (with another professor) without telling jon. After consulting with the one who canceled it he was told to be patient and they would all get together but was given no time line. Jon only felt questionable about a few questions but they were out in left field as far as what he was told to study. A majority of the questions asked for his opinion, so he doesn't know how those could be terribly wrong unless he didn't back it up. Anyways, they won't tell jon anything.

Anyways, that was Monday and Jon did a great job forgetting about that for the day. We went to olive garden for lunch and then to the library (cause I wanted to go). Then he went to work and I went to book club. When I got home he surprised me with flowers, a small cake and big hero 6. :-) I also talked with all of you. :-)

Wednesday morning jon had some spare time and decided to go to the temple. (There are only two sessions on Wednesday and he was trying to go to the first to be back in time for a voice lesson). Well he got pretty close and then there was an accident. He missed the first session and he called. I told him he was already down there and probably needed it and there was still a chance he wouldn't miss his lesson (traffic and weather willing). Anyways, he saw a different video and liked it. On his way back he stopped for gas and had to go inside to pay. So he went in and the guy said he'd put $50 on pump 7. Jon went out and the pump already said $4 and wouldn't clear. It also wouldn't start pumping. Anyways, the attendant came out but didn't seem to understand the problem. The $4 was from a previous person (as Jon couldn't get anything to work)and Jon ended up going elsewhere but got the feeling that the guy might still charge his card the full $50.

Friday night we get a text from the people who live in this home. Last we had heard was they were planning to extend a year. But Friday night she says they're coming back June 1st. We didn't get out the contract but we said we hadn't planned on leaving by the first. I don't know if this is bad news but it really stressed out jon on top of the other stuff. In my opinion while we're packing things up for summer, we might as well move everything (to a storage unit or somewhere) if they're going to be coming back anyways. We have enjoyed it here and saved some money. She's been kind of weird about things and I still like her but not as a landlord. She accused me of putting too many nails in the wall as an example. (Number one she said I could put nails in the wall but to try to keep it to a minimum. Number two, I actually haven't made any new holes. I have searched for nail holes and made the most of it- some are not in ideal places for the pictures we have, and mom bought us some sticky hanging things so we wouldn't have to make more holes but could hang up more stuff ). Anyways, jon and I had talked of moving before fall semester starts anyways to be closer to his job in Illinois, if we didn't get something better. Anyways, just more stress. Friday I made dinner for a family in the ward and a dessert for a ward game night.

Saturday there was a baptism at 2. I gave a talk and sang with 3 others. Then I went home with George and made dinner, fed George and packed it up to take to the church for stake conference. Jon wasn't going to have much time to come home and we were feeding the missionaries. Then there was stake conference and we sang in the choir. On the way home jon got a fraud alert on our credit card and called right when we got home. Someone had tried purchasing over $500 worth of stuff in Kentucky (near where jon got gas when he went to the temple). He called and turns out the gas attendant had charged some money to his card, even though jon didn't get a drop of gas. So we're getting new cards sent.

Today, stake conference was cancelled due to weather. We were given permission to have the sacrament in our home and did. Then we went out to bloomfield (a small town a little west of us) to look at a house. One of Jon's students in Bedford just put her mom in a nursing home. (She's older herself and her mom is about 90-something). Anyways, I think they went to sell the house but we asked if she'd be willing to rent it to us til the market gets a little better. If so, that's about where we wanted to move to. It's not great but if she'll rent it, it would be good and about where we want to be. We'd be a block away from the town square and a mile from a bigger park and a few blocks away from a girl we know from stake choir who would love to babysit.

Anyways, not a bad week but not awesome. George turned 5 months! And I'm now 30!

A few different thoughts- at the baptism they were told to confirm her on Saturday (not regular for a convert baptism-they like to do it in sacrament meeting). Anyways, I feel they were inspired. As it was she wouldn't have been confirmed today but now that they're rescheduling stake conference, it would've been waiting for 2 weeks. Second thought, or stake patriarch spoke at Friday forum and said men are that they might have joy-so if we aren't feeling joy, we should step back and evaluate things and figure out a way to find joy. I just liked that thought.
Last, the adult session of stake coherence was all about ward council. Women in ward council was brought up and it reminded me of some of the issues going on in the world. When I was a relief society president I was asked for my opinion often. I was invited every Sunday. I've heard some people say that the church is changing and they're starting  (as of the last year) to include women to avoid criticism. This is not true. The relief society president is supposed to be involved and represent the women. The extent of that involvement was left to the bishop. I served in wards on my mission that weren't used to having women show up to ward council but that was in part due to the fact that it was a good Sunday if the RS president showed up to church at all that day. Anyways, the women are represented in the ward-all wards, regardless of how many times they are invited to Sunday meetings. One of the talks was clearly meant to reach women who don't feel represented and it reminded me of the feminist movement going on. I would say I'm a feminist as far as believing women are equal to men and being proud to be a woman and wanting equal rights. But here's the thing-equality does not mean the same. My Sunday best is a dress or skirt and blouse and not nice slacks because I want the Lord to know I'm grateful to be a woman. I do not need to wear pants to feel the same or equal to men. A woman's place is in the home not because she is less intelligent but because we have a knack for nurturing and because we can take a menial structure and create a home. If a woman works, it should not be to prove she is the same as a man, though I hope women who do work are treated equally. A woman is not ordained to the Priesthood because she is not equal to man but because she is not the same and therefore has a different role. A lawyer and a doctor both have to have extensive schooling. One is not lesser than the other (despite lawyer jokes). They are different. You do not want a lawyer performing open heart surgery on you, not because he's not as smart as the doctor but because his role is different. Neither would you want a pediatrician defending you in court. My role as a woman makes me different but not less than a man. While a lawyer may wear a suit, a doctor wears scrubs; so also, men wear suits to church and I wear a dress. I know that women are represented in the ward. They do amazing things. And women are equal to men in the church, but we are not the same. Why would we want to be?

George sitting and baptism

So I'm sitting here with George. We've had a rough night. He had a good morning nap and hasn't really slept since (for about 10 hours). He has fallen asleep three times in that time period but never for very long. It was hard because he was unusually fussy. He didn't want to eat or walk or read books or anything else that normally works. Well, finally I did get him to eat and then I turned on Winnie the Pooh and got out our Eeyore. So we're watching a little Pooh bear and he's happy! Like normal, but this evening it's really good.

 

So I've been buying things for George, well not too much since last week. I realized last week that I had bought two things that were similar, so I returned one. Instead, we got a pop-up tent, a pop-up tunnel (to crawl through) and a pop-up ball pit. He really likes the ball pit (the only part we've played with and he sits and tries to reach for the balls but sometimes loses his balance. He loves his exer-saucer as well. He still rolls but this week he has been liking sitting and I've let him fall a few times. I help him lean and if he's close to the floor I just move anything hard and let him fall if he looses his balance the few more inches to the floor. He is the most ticklish on his back, but getting more ticklish.

 

Today he was trying to eat my yogurt (so I gave him a VERY small taste- oops!) Well, he likes peach yogurt, but I'm supposed to wait til he's had other solids first and is 6+ months, that's why I said oops. We then got a bottle ready mixed with some oatmeal.

 

Saturday there was a baptism scheduled that was cancelled. I had been asked to sing in a small group and give the talk on baptism. But it was cancelled because the investigator's brother was snowed in and couldn't make it. So now it's this Saturday at 2. Two of the wards in Bloomington cancelled church on Sunday but the roads haven't been too bad, but we did buy a shovel on Saturday. Also, our lease on the Kia is about a year up so Jon has been researching cars. He found a few cars that had good reviews and we had decided to get a used car next time. Anyways, he found a car he was interested in that he tried out and wanted me to try out. He had been looking at it for awhile and this one was a really good deal. So, long story short, we bought a car. We called Kia and found out that dealers can buy out a lease, so that's what they did. We traded in the Kia and got a 2010 car and financed it for $16 more than our lease payments, but we'll own the car after just a few years. It's better than buying the car after the lease and we had a few things we didn't like about the Kia that this car doesn't have.

 

I guess spiritual thoughts- most of my ponderings were on baptism. How there's a gate to get into the kingdom of heaven. The gate is baptism. That gate has a lock and copies of the keys are made when a man receives the Priesthood by the laying on of hands. But just because we're in the gate, there's still a path to the House of the Lord. I looked up the meaning of the word baptism and it comes from words that mean ritual washing, immerse and dip. Well we know the symbolism of being immersed. The ritual washing- we make a covenant and are symbolically washed clean of our sins. Jon pointed out something which then sent me researching some more. He pointed out that remission with Cancer doesn't mean that the cancer goes away. So I looked up the meaning of remission. It means forgiveness of sins but also temporary recovery. Well baptism is a temporary recovery. We are forgiven of our sins, but it is not a permanent solution. The journey is not over and we continuously need 'treatments' of the Sacrament to renew our covenant and become clean again each week. Anyways, that was where my thoughts were, or at least my new thoughts concerning baptism.

 

Love you all! Talk to you soon!

Help me to show my trust in thee...

I think this will be short today. Everyone's busy and I'm a little down...

I think of what Katie (and a little of Carly) had to go through last Monday with Sarah. It broke my heart in so many ways. I felt so bad for Katie. She couldn't even talk and I had to get what really happened piece by piece. It's hard when you love someone so much. I was amazed at how well things were handled in the moment and then how the girls did dealing with it all and moving on. I then had a day where I just felt "sad".  I had an "aha" moment when I was saying my prayers. My prayer was "Help me to show my trust in thee by letting go." 

So we move on. My life is in such a weird place right now. I was able to do the tread climber 3xs last week for 40-50 min - slow, but still good (and my knees are ok). I think my supplements are working and I am sleeping. Now to lose weight.

And one last thing. I just want to say that I am not for abortion, except for rape or the health of the mother. I feel that we need to speak up for a child's rights when they can't. It doesn't matter to me whether the world thinks like I do or not. It doesn't matter to me whether they follow it or not. Carrying a child and putting it up for adoption is always an option. It teaches responsibility and consequences for our actions. That is what I think is right.

Shots, V-day, eye of the needle and families

So, this week I think started out slow. I don't really remember Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday George has a doctors appointment and shots :-( he's above the 97% for height and about 75% in weight. They showed me a graph with time on the bottom and height or weight on the left. There were lines for the 75%,the 95%, the 97% and then George's stats were plotted with a line as well. His weight is an improving curve but more rounded. His height is almost a steep line instead of the gentle curve. This means, at 2 months he was taller than the 97%but he is even farther away from that line now-he must be having a growth spurt. Anyways, he did better with the shots as far as being able to calm down sooner, but he ended up with a fever. We gave him Tylenol and he was so miserable and tired. He still looks a little tired to me but he's acting normal again and doesn't have a fever anymore. Friday we had institute, went to the library, and then went back to the institute. For the married institute class it's like potluck refreshments, so I took the time (since we'd be sharing) to try a dessert. I did low fat fudge brownies, then added chocolate pudding and a lot of chocolate chips. So triple chocolate. I think they tasted good. Others liked them, jon had the only complaint, and his complaint was that they were too gooey for his taste (but they still stayed together and you didn't need a fork).

Saturday was valentine's day. Honestly I hadn't done too much for jon. He woke up and made me awful waffles, heart shaped eggs, and served it with potatoes and yogurt. We went shopping for food for Sunday dinner (we invited some good friends over for sushi and tempura fried veggies and shrimp). Those same friends actually briefly met up with us on valentine's day too. My back hurts a lot now and so jon suggested a massage. We have a Chinese foot massage place on the south side of indy (also where the babies r us is, and we had points from our baby registry that would be expiring in a month. ) Anyways jon was willing to let me get a massage and skip one to watch George but I didn't think that was fair on valentine's day or very romantic. So we called our friends in Brazil who met us there. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Jon got me a dance game I really like for valentine's and my birthday. I got him star wars light Saber chopsticks, but there was a problem with the shipping. .. anyways, he challenged me to a dance off. Then we went shopping and then drove up to indy. I didn't want George to be miserable so I actually held him for some of the drive and let him look out the window. He loved watching the moving trees. So we got up there and went to dinner at a place I found out about in Louisiana, called johnny carinos. It's Italian but has a southern flair to it. Then I went to babies r us with George. We got some sippy training cups, some spoons, some baby oatmeal, and two outfits. We then walked through the toys and George liked a talking puppy (which is supposed to help teach letters, numbers, counting, body parts and colors but also sings songs. So we got that.  (I remembered something from Tuesday!  I went to a secondhand children's store here, to check it out and get a small toy for George after his shots. We got a cheap caterpillar toy that a friend recommended.  ) Then George started reaching out to an exersaucer. This particular one can be a mat, an exersaucer or break apart into two tables. We put that together tonight and he went to tired and a little cranky to tired but happy and exploring. It'll be great for him. He can already turn around in it and is curious about all the toys. Getting ahead of myself again though. So after babies r us, we got massages. We met up with our friends and gave them a sleeping George. Then after our massages, we went to a kids area in the mall and switched. We watched their little boy and they went and got massages. Jon walked with George to go get cheesecake from the cheesecake factory and then after all the massages, we drove home. Jon had rented breakfast at Tiffany's but we'll watch it another time. This morning we woke up early for choir practice. Then came home for lunch and a nap. Then our friends came out early for dinner and hanging out here since we had stake choir practice tonight. Anyways it was a busy week.

Spiritual thoughts have been a little scattered. First, in Sunday school they talked about how a prophet is never accepted in his own country and how the people of Nazareth had a hard time accepting Christ as the Messiah. Someone mentioned that this concept is foreign to us and that people in Utah are proud of the apostles and prophets. But I started thinking. People who know the prophets as they're growing up or intimately are privy to their faults and weaknesses. Sometimes it's hard to look past those faults and see a prophet. So many people research Joseph smith's flaws and then have a hard time accepting him as a prophet. The funny thing to me is, the prophets themselves remind us that there has only been and will only ever be one perfect man- that is Jesus. To see their faults is to realize that they are not hypocrites. They are not trying to claim a perfection they don't have. To see that they are human means they can be a prophet and are not the one and only messiah. For Jesus though, He claimed to be (and was/is) the Messiah. But we are told that he learned grace by grace, little by little. To see someone so normal, that is not normal but perfect and the Messiah... to me that seems like it would be much harder to accept.

Then they mentioned being rich and the eye of the needle. The teacher quoted it wrong but oh well. He said it's easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to be in heaven, but it says for a rich man to get into heaven. To me there is a big difference. On my mission it was always the poor who were willing to accept the gospel, be baptized and enter the gates of heaven, symbolically. I think in seminary was when someone explained to me that the eye of the needle was a sort of small overnight door. If the city gates were closed, you had to use this door. To get a camel through you had to take off whatever it had on its back, and someone who knew the camel had to coax it to kneel and get through. This process is easier than a rich man getting into heaven (or getting baptized), so today I thought, then it should require at least everything the camel does. A man ladled with riches must take off the load. Put them aside. Then someone who knows the rich man needs to encourage him (ie simply tracting in a rich neighborhood is not going to do it. He'll need a good friend). The rich man will have to humble himself (kneel down). Then, since the camel is easier, I imagine it takes something else that may change depending on the individual. This scripture does not mean it's impossible, nor does it mean there will be few rich people in heaven, it just shows how much of an obstacle wealth CAN be.

My last thoughts were on the family and come from a conversation I had with jon about the family proclamation and Satan attacking the family. He brought up gay marriage and how many members are very vocal about how it's Satan attacking the family. He brought up how Satan is attacking the family in other ways as well. I guess my thoughts are along the lines with, we should be equally vocal about all attacks on the family. I'm not saying we have to be more quiet on anything but I want to make sure that I'm not speaking out about one attack and excusing the others. " Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." This says man and woman, but it also says marriage. How many families are broken because of the fad to not get married, or for some other reason.  "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity." A man and a woman who are married but cheat on each other is an attack on the family. I have gained a strong testimony on what I feel this means. If a man looks at another woman and lusts after her, he hath already committed adultery in his heart. I don't think it is complete fidelity if his heart is an adulterer. Also a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife and none else. If a man confides in another he is not cleaving to his wife. One can emotionally cheat on their spouse. Children deserve this loving relationship. To lack it is an attack on the family. The pornography business attacks the family. A man is not cleaving to his wife when looking at porn. There are also other simpler things as well. If you are depressed and confide in someone besides your spouse, you have, at least temporarily, put that other person above your spouse.   "We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God." Domestic abuse is an attack on the family.  Twisting marriage to not be between a man and a woman is only one attack on the family.

Jon and I know we have room to grow. My favorite part of the family proclamation is the following part: "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." I know that these principles can help strengthen a marriage and families.

As a last side note, Michelle sent a really cute outfit for George. I will take pictures as soon as the outfit fits. :-) mom also sent some cute pjs, and some clothes, of which I think I have taken pictures.

Turn Your Thoughts into Words

Choices...Good Choices, Good Consequences. Bad Choices, Bad Consequences. (How many times have I told you guys that, especially Danny?)

Decisions Determine Destiny.

Thoughts turn into Words. Words turn into Actions. Actions turn into Habits. Habits turn into Character. Be careful where you turn.

I think this week I did pretty good with my thoughts and turning them into words. That's at least the first step. Too often, especially with our relationships we have the thoughts, but the words are sometimes hard. How many times do we wish we would have said something different or wish we hadn't said something at all? It's so hard to say "Sorry" or that you were wrong and the other person was right. Usually we just go on, trying to feel justified, but hopefully, learning and remembering for next time.

I guess this is more for married people, but it's true in all close relationships. We need to appreciate each other more and we need to express that appreciation. Have you ever justified a person's behavior because you loved them and surely they couldn't have done what others think they've done? We need to do that with our spouses or siblings or close friends. I'm not saying to be blind, but I'm saying to choose to think the best. Life will never be perfect, but we can choose to be happy every single day!

So I've told some of you this already, but on my birthday I text Dan in the morning. "I know how you feel about presents, but please don't waste your time shopping. Everyday with you is a gift. I want you to know I really believe that." "Also, you have given me not one present but a life where I can have anything and do anything I want every single day. Thank you for loving me so much you've given me your whole life."

I didn't plan on writing this. It has always been my thoughts, but seldom my words. So seldom that when Dan received the texts, his first thought was "Who has her phone?" That's a little sad.

So I challenge all of us to take the next step, turn your thoughts into words. And hopefully as we keep doing that it will then turn into Actions, which turn into Habits, which will turn into our Character.

I love you all!

Clarification for my last post

Concerning abortion. I think abortion is wrong. As far as the political connotation goes, I am not pro-choice but I hate the term. People who are politically pro-choice aren't really pro-choice but against accountability. However, even though I feel abortion is wrong I have a cynical view of making abortion illegal based on history and statistics. Making it illegal did not decrease the amount of abortions but increased fatalities because of people using dangerous methods to attempt abortions. So I think it should be legal because making it illegal doesn't seem to help like I wish it would. So I believe abortion should be legal but I want people to teach that it's wrong or pass measures that discourage abortion. So I want fewer abortions, but I feel we'd have to do something different besides making it illegal.

Also, the talk was very clear that in our homes and dedicated places we teach what we know to be right but sometimes politically the right thing is different because we believe that everyone should have agency. We have to allow others to live how they choose, as long as it is not harmful to others or infringes on other people's rights. This does not mean we teach that things such as drinking which is legal, is right, but we allow others the right to choose for themselves. Since drinking can harm others if they get behind the wheel, there are laws about drinking and driving. What we know to be best is what we teach, but politically I feel there is sometimes a different line to simply allow others to choose for themselves. We cannot force the public to live according to what we believe (or know) to be true when they do not also believe the same way. If we did then we would be like Satan, forcing everyone to keep the commandments and take away choice and agency.

As far as homosexuality goes- I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. The danger of changing that definition legally has already been demonstrated with religious adoption agencies which had two choices: to be forced to change their beliefs concerning what makes a family unit or to close their doors. Legalizing marriage could affect religious institutions regarding whether or not they can refuse to marry a couple, even if it's against the minister's beliefs. But there are legal benefits that are granted to marriages that are not given to homosexual couples. So legally, I think the best option is for the government to recognize only civil unions and to step back from marriages. Allow religions to marry as they see fit and separate government and religion. In saying this, I'm not saying homosexuality isn't a sin. Even if the law said marriage was between a man and a woman, it does not stop homosexuality- it only prevents them from defining their union by the same legal terms. So by acknowledging that the government's best solution is likely to recognize both heterosexual and homosexual unions as the same, does not mean I will teach that they are the same, or that they are.

Dallin h.Oaks,  " In dedicated spaces, like temples, houses of worship, and our own homes, we should teach the truth and the commandments plainly and thoroughly as we understand them from the plan of salvation revealed in the restored gospel. Our right to do so is protected by constitutional guarantees of freedom of speech and religion, as well as by the privacy that is honored even in countries without formal constitutional guarantees.
In public, what religious persons say and do involves other considerations. The free exercise of religion covers most public actions, but it is subject to qualifications necessary to accommodate the beliefs and practices of others. Laws can prohibit behavior that is generally recognized as wrong or unacceptable, like sexual exploitation, violence, or terrorist behavior, even when done by extremists in the name of religion. Less grievous behaviors, even though unacceptable to some believers, may simply need to be endured if legalized by what a Book of Mormon prophet called “the voice of the people”".

I guess my point is that we should teach what is right and wrong, but sometimes the laws are different. There is sometimes a fine line between what is right and what others should also feel is right and abide by. Abortion, though a very important topic, I (cynically) believe that making it illegal won't help. But that doesn't mean I want people to think I believe it's OK, because it's not. With homosexuality, I have very strong opinions but the country as a whole does not feel it's immoral. I can't force them to live by what I feel is moral or immoral, I can only teach what I feel is right and wrong and hope to influence others to live more righteously.

Dad's Church Talk - Which Way Do You Face?

Which Way Do You Face?

Which way do you face?  That is the question that was posed to Elder Lynn G. Robbins of the First Quorum of the Seventy by Elder Boyd K. Packer.  Without waiting for a response, Elder Packer continued by stating “A Seventy does not represent the people to the prophet, but the prophet to the people.  Never forget which way you face.”  What do you suppose Elder Packer meant by that question and answer?  I suppose the same logic continues in that we do not represent the people to the prophet and the general authorities of the church, but rather, we represent them and the church to the people.  Which way do we face?

In 1 Nephi 8:25-28 we read:

25 And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed.

26 And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth.

27 And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit.

28 And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost.

Why did they fall away?  And why were they lost?  They were ashamed after they partook of the fruit.  The world, over in the great and spacious building, were making fun of them for their beliefs and they forgot which way they faced.  They listened to the philosophies and teachings of the world.  They listened to their arguments, especially the one that if we expect people to follow the commandments we are showing a lack of compassion.  Failure to relax and alter the commandments of God likewise shows a lack of compassion.  In fact, not allowing people to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it demonstrates a complete lack of compassion.  That is the wisdom of the world.  Those are the beliefs of those who inhabit the great and spacious building.  They believe that it is up to us to accept, tolerate and embrace whatever behavior or lifestyle they adopt.  The wisdom of the world and being accepted by the world was more important to those that fell away than the eternal truths of the gospel.  Some people will say that they can entertain the world’s views, explore them, study them, and test them for themselves and they will be just fine.  That is a dangerous proposition.  Let’s look at two examples:

Korihor, in the Book of Mormon illustrates someone who clearly was facing the wrong way.  The worst part is that he did believe at one time, but he was deceived by Satan.  Before we read a couple verses in Alma 30:52-53, let’s get caught up.  Korihor had been teaching the people and leading them astray and he is brought before Alma to be judged for his actions.  There is an exchange where Korihor tells Alma what he believes, which is the garbage that is taught in the great and spacious building.  Alma then bears witness of the actual truths about God and his teachings.  Korihor demands a sign from Alma to prove that God exists and, according the words of Alma, he is struck dumb.  Alma then asks him if he is convinced now?  And here is Korihor’s response:

52 And Korihor put forth his hand and wrote, saying: I know that I am dumb, for I cannot speak; and I know that nothing save it were the power of God could bring this upon me; yea, and I always knew that there was a God.

53 But behold, the devil hath deceived me; for he appeared unto me in the form of an angel, and said unto me: Go and reclaim this people, for they have all gone astray after an unknown God. And he said unto me: There is no God; yea, and he taught me that which I should say. And I have taught his words; and I taught them because they were pleasing unto the carnal mind; and I taught them, even until I had much success, insomuch that I verily believed that they were true; and for this cause I withstood the truth, even until I have brought this great curse upon me.

By now it was too late for Korihor and he was cast out, left to beg for food and ultimately was trampled to death by the Zoramites.  Facing the wrong way cost him his mortal life and his eternal salvation.

 Lot is another example of someone who faced the wrong way.  We know that after Lot and Abraham split up the land, Lot took the more fertile lands in the plains.  The scriptures say that ”Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.”  We know that over time Lot and his family moved into Sodom and lived there for some time.  Initially he woke up to a view of the great and spacious building; ultimately they ended up moving into the great and spacious building.  I am sure that Lot did not intend to lose most of his family to the world.  I am sure, when they moved from the plains into Sodom he thought they could be there, could tolerate and accept what was going on and not be tainted.  As we know, after a time, Lot was told to take his family and leave because Sodom was going to be destroyed because of its great wickedness.   Here is how that played out.  In Genesis 19 we read:

12  And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:

13 For we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the Lord; and the Lord hath sent us to destroy it.

14 And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the Lord will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.

15 And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.

16 And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the Lord being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city.

17 And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

The destruction began and in verse 26 we read:

26  But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

Lot survived his experience in the great and spacious building, but with the exception of his two daughters, his entire family perished as a result of their experience inside the great and spacious building.  Even though his two daughters did physically survive the experience, it is hard to say they came out of that experience unscathed if you read a little further in Genesis.  Was it worth it to Lot to have looked out towards the great and spacious building, to have moved into to it, and for most of his family, tolerated, accepted and ultimately embraced the teachings from within the great and spacious building?  

We do not need to tolerate, accept, entertain, study, embrace or do anything else with respect to the world’s view.  We are not representing the world to the church, the prophet or our Heavenly Father.  We are representing the eternal truths of the gospel to the world.  How do we do that?  We stand up and we don’t apologize for the gospel.  We make sure that the flow of information follows Heavenly Father’s plan.   Heavenly Father laid out the plan for the flow of information.  Too often we feel the need to reverse the proper flow of information, which is clearly a case of facing the wrong way.  In Amos it is clearly explained how information flows.  It says in Amos 3:7

7 Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.

In seminary, Amos 3:7 is a scripture mastery scripture and one of the ways we remembered it was by holding up three fingers – Amos 3, God, prophet, me.  That is the proper flow of information.  It never goes me, prophet, God.  That is simply not how it works.  There are no exceptions to that.  

Currently, the crowd from the great and spacious building is applying pressure on those of us who have partaken of the fruit.  They want us to sympathize with and accept behavior and beliefs that are unacceptable.  They push on members to lobby the brethren for changes.  The belief that members can lobby the brethren for changes in the church or doctrines of the church shows a complete lack of understanding who is actually in charge.  You can pick your cause:

Gay Marriage, the world wants us to acknowledge and accept it.

Abortion, the world wants us to stop fighting to protect the sanctity of life.  

Pornography, immorality, foul language, the world says it’s okay, under the guise of individual liberty and freedom to act however we want, even as the poison of that filth spreads and destroys that which it touches.

Violations of the Word of Wisdom, the world says it is okay.  We know by watching TV that all of the pretty people drink alcohol.  Even the most interesting man in the world drinks alcohol.  

This all must be okay, right?

Attacks on the organization and structure of the church and the priesthood. The world says it’s okay.

Attacks on those women who are somehow less of a woman because they choose to be mothers.  The world says it’s okay to denigrate those who chose live by the doctrines clearly delineated in “The Family, A Proclamation To The World.”

Wow, I wish I was as enlightened as the occupants of the great and spacious building.  I am obviously missing the big picture.  Some might even say I’m a simpleton.  That’s okay.  For me it is quite simple.  

We do not need to give instruction to the brethren or to our Father in Heaven.  

We need to listen to their teachings and do our best to live by those teachings.  

We need to represent and defend and not apologize for the eternal truths, doctrines and policies of the Lord’s church.  

When we begin to sympathize with these ideas that come from the great and spacious building, there is an underlying belief that has to exist.  Whether we recognize it or acknowledge it is not relevant, it is still there.  The belief in its simplest expression is one of two things.  

First.  Either Heavenly Father is not paying attention, because if he was, he would surely fix these injustices, this lack of compassion or these misguided doctrines.  And, since he is not paying attention, we need to get a message to him, via the brethren and the prophet so he can correct it. 

Or, second. Heavenly Father is aware of these injustices, this lack of compassion or these misguided doctrines of the church, but he has lost control over the prophet, the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve and the other general authorities, and he can’t get them to run things the way he wants them to.  In essence the church is a run-away train and he has not power to get it under control.

Both of these beliefs really scare me.  Both of these beliefs deny the very essence of who our Heavenly Father really is and whether he really is a loving and compassionate God.  The gospel is actually quite simple.  The church is the organization that was created to facilitate the restoration of the gospel and to allow it to be spread to all of God’s children in the last days.  He set it up this way.  I am going to assume that he knows what he is doing. 

Too many people use the philosophies and teachings of men as the measuring stick for truth.  The thinking is that if what is taught by the scriptures and the brethren through modern revelation does not match up the teachings of the world there must be something wrong with what the scriptures and the brethren are teaching.  That is the wrong measuring stick.  

The gospel, as given to us in the scriptures and through modern day revelation through the prophet, the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles is the measuring stick.  If the world’s views, teachings and philosophies are not in harmony with the gospel, toss them out.  It doesn’t matter how logical, rational or compassionate they may appear to be (emphasis on appear).  Toss them out.  To accept them is to accept one of the underlying assumptions that our Heavenly Father simply doesn’t understand the issues of our day, our Heavenly Father is not a loving and compassionate God, our Heavenly Father is not paying attention or our Heavenly Father has lost control of his church.

My experience and testimony is that he is a loving and compassionate God.  He is not confused or out of touch with what is going on here.  He is absolutely paying attention to what is going on with his children.  He knows each and every one of us and is intimately aware of our struggles and trials.  He is there to help us if we will go to him and follow his direction and counsel.  And, he is in total control of his kingdom, here on earth.  The plan, was to come here and learn the gospel, live the gospel and defend the gospel.  We knew the plan and agreed to the plan.  It doesn’t really matter that we can’t remember what happened in our pre-mortal life.  We heard the plan, the entire plan and we voted for it.  We even knew that there would be trials and difficulties and suffering.  In Abraham it is spelled out quite clearly:

We were sent here so that he could prove us herewith, to see if we would do all things whatsoever the Lord our God would command us.

We are not supposed to be apologists for the gospel.  

We are to stand firm in the testimony of what is truth.   

We just need to decide if we will be purveyors of the garbage that is spewed from the great and spacious building or are we defenders of the truth that comes from our Heavenly Father that will lead us back to his presence.  

It is my testimony that Heavenly Father loves each and every one of his children.  Jesus is our savior.  He suffered in Gethsemane and on the cross for us.  Joseph Smith was and is a prophet and was responsible for the restoration of the gospel and bringing forth the Book of Mormon.  The Book of Mormon is true.  Heavenly Father has a plan to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man and we have a part to play in that plan.  It is up to us whether we will be true to the promises that we made before we came into this life.  We agreed to come here at this time.  We knew that we would receive the gospel during our lives and we agreed to live it and defend it.  It is my prayer that we will keep the promises that we made and remember which way we face.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Given: Westlake Village Ward 2/8/2015.