So this week I'm not entirely sure what to write. George is growing and eating and pooping a lot and I love him a lot. A few random thoughts:
First tears. George is now crying real tears and it makes me cry. And as Jon put it, we had our first casualty yesterday. George has scratched his face and in two spots looks like he made himself bleed (not the casualty part) so I looked at his nails and several were long and scratchy. So I decided to cut them. I was trying so hard. It took me a few minutes to make the first cut and I was sure I had just the nail. I cut poor George and he started crying. I held him tight and started to cry too. I know (logically) that George will need to experience pain and struggle and cry and what not to grow. But there's a part of me that doesn't want him to experience any pain-especially pain caused by me. I'm sure it's inevitable. I'll likely hurt him again. I hope the first time his fingers get smashed in a door or something that it's not my fault. I may one day say something that hurts his feelings without meaning to. But I hope when I realize I've hurt this guy, or even if I'm not the cause of it, that I'll be there to hold him. I'm sure Mom has felt this way as well as Dad and our Heavenly Parents and Jesus.
Second- trying not to be busy. The first part of George's life has been hectic. His mom is tired and recovering, although I'm able to carry him IN his car seat now and the diaper bag too. But on top of the normal stuff, we flew across the country, got him used to a pacifier (which I don't think is bad but all the new parenting books would disagree with how young we did it), gave him his first bottle, left him for the first time for two hours, packed and moved and cleaned. Granted I didn't do most of that but I was trying to help and it meant that we were always on the go and hoping he'd be asleep. So today I promised myself to focus on George and me. We've slept and talked and played on his tummy for tummy time, listened to some music, ate, changed his diaper and his clothes once from a blow out, and listened to a chapter from the book of Mormon, first in English and then in Spanish. I also managed to do some dishes and some Spanish homework during his last nap and if he stays asleep after I write this, I'm taking another nap. I'm trying to make sure I'm not too busy for George. After today I'll need to find a balance of George time and working and cleaning but today has been nice to just do little but spend time with George.
