I Feel Content - You Give Me Strength

I don't know if I'm totally crazy and wired wrong OR if I'm above other people, on a higher plane and have a different perspective than everyone else. I don't know why I look at things differently but over the years I have learned to appreciate and love who I am.  I'm ok being different. But every once in awhile I stop and wonder if I should think differently and do things differently. 

This week we were studying DC 25 - the revelation given to Emma Smith. It got me thinking about Emma. I do respect her. She had such a tough life. She transcribed for Joseph but wasn't allowed to see or touch the plates when so many others were. Her parents didn't approve of Joseph and they often lived with other people or had other people living with them. She had many children that died. And during her tough times, Joseph was also in tough times. A revelation comes for her. And she's told to be a comfort to Joseph. I wonder if she thought "Who's there for my comfort? Really? Don't you have grand plans for Me?" Yes, she was given opportunities that were impressive, as far as being a woman goes - compiling hymns and being the first RS president. I am sure that through compiling the hymns  the Spirit comforted her many times. And then all the tribulation. I'm sure it was tough. Her husband is killed. I assume she just didn't have the strength to go West. I feel for her, but I also kind of wish she had found the strength. I look at how one decision most likely set the course for her future generations. Maybe the Church needed the separation from the Smith Family. I hope that when I'm tired and when I feel like I can't keep doing what's asked of me I find the strength to do it anyway. Each decision does effect not only us, but our whole family and future generations. 

I also had a confirmation that it's ok to be me. It's ok that I don't do something monumental, even though I'm very capable. It's ok that I don't get the attention, don't get to be the "chosen one" who saw the plates or stands in the lime light. I know the Lord is there. I know he loves me. He has comforted me. It's like - would you like one huge embrace by the Savior or would you like him just to have his hand continually on your shoulder?

I'm not feeling overly satisfied, but I feel content. I feel happy. I know I need to be a better wife and give comfort to my husband, who is a great man. I am so proud of all of you and love to see you Stand in the Light. There's a little tenderness in my heart, (connected to my eyes of course) when I see you shine. I loved when I heard that Jamie and Jon were able to do an endowment session and took that time, when they are so overwhelmed right now. I love the many times when people ask about Danny and meet Michelle and say how much they like her and I just love to tell them how sweet and loving she is. I love to watch Carly follow the Spirit and get to stand in the light, while her little sister is supporting her and using her own "reflector light" to shine back on her. I love to hear how Cassie is content (we just seem to be in similar places often) with holding to the iron rod while she stands in the mist, not quite knowing where she is going, but always looking to direct others on their way. I love Julie when she will share things with me and open up her heart - not because she wants to but because either she needs to or she knows I need her to. I don't think you all realize how much you each inspire me. You give me strength.

You are awesome!