His Answers Meet our Needs while Motivating us to Grow?

President David O. McKay testified, “It is true that the answers to our prayers may not always come as direct and at the time, nor in the manner, we anticipate; but they do come, and at a time and in a manner best for the interests of him who offers the supplication.” Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. Your character will grow; your faith will increase. There is a relationship between those two: the greater your faith, the stronger your character; and increased character enhances your ability to exercise even greater faith.

Your life will be easier when you accept that what God does in your life is for your eternal good.

He will reply in one of three ways. First, you can feel the peace, comfort, and assurance that confirm that your decision is right. Or second, you can sense that unsettled feeling, the stupor of thought, indicating that your choice is wrong. Or third--and this is the difficult one--you can feel no response.

What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. As you are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit, one of two things will certainly occur at the appropriate time: either the stupor of thought will come, indicating an improper choice, or the peace or the burning in the bosom will be felt, confirming that your choice was correct. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.

His answers meet our needs while motivating us to grow?

Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/using-the-supernal-gift-of-prayer?lang=eng


These are my thoughts this week. They are from my YW lesson on the Godhead and How Do I Know My Heavenly Father. I've been sick for awhile and I don't have any energy, but I've been thinking a lot. Thinking of the choices I have in my life. Thinking about how my life is changing, that you guys are growing and have families and lives of your own. I miss you, but I am so proud of you. I am happy for the people you are and the families you have. It's a good feeling to know that I have been a good steward. My life isn't over, but there are changes. It's made me think and pray. What do I really want? What does my Father in Heaven want me doing right now?

In reading it's made me think of my mom and when she would ask me to do something that I didn't want to do (like go to the neighbor's and ask them if I could pick their prickly pears or another time when I was going somewhere and she made me make my own arrangements). It wasn't a big deal and she knew I didn't like it so why didn't she just do it for me? She would always say, "It builds CHARACTER." (I used to respond and say "I have enough Character." Obviously I didn't). I am so glad she made me take those opportunities that gave me character - they gave me strength, strength gave me courage and courage gave me power.

I also remember writing either Cassie or Carly and talking about TRUST. When you are doing everything the Lord has asked you to do you can trust Heavenly Father. And when you are in that place it is a good feeling because you know the Lord can Trust you - trust you to do His will, trust you to listen and to follow. It is then that our faith is sure and time is ok - we don't have to understand everything all the time. We can be patient and we can be content. We can feel joy in the moment. We can be thankful for where we are that moment.Sometimes we think that we can only feel joy when something big is happening. We can feel joy when practically nothing at all is happening. It is a serene feeling.

God is good always. He can do more with my life than I can. He loves me and all things shall work for my good. His answers meet our needs while motivating us to grow? Learning to listen and trusting him enough to act on his promptings is what I need to do right now.

More routine and talents

George now eats his feet, likes grabbing onto them, rolls, likes sucking in my chin, especially if I'm talking and moving it (he thinks it's funny) and grabbing things.

 

It's been a good week. I don't know if I got too much done but I felt on top of things. Almost every morning George and I listen to a chapter in the book of Mormon, first in English and then the same chapter in Spanish. Sometimes we'll multitask and nurse at the same time. Then we go downstairs and play and most days I've started a load of laundry. Then he'll take a nap. This is my time. I usually shower during this nap and do personal reading. I'll clean or something else if the nap is long enough. Then the second period of George being awake we do educational things. We have a book of animals. We read about one (it's 2-4 pages with lots of pictures) and then look for a short YouTube clip of the same animal, playing or making a noise or something. We do 2-3 animals a day depending on George's interest. I think his favorite this week was either lions or cheetahs. He talked and made happy sounds when he saw them playing. Then more playing. This includes reading books, dancing, rolling on the ground, peek a boo and putting lots of toys in his mouth. Then another nap. This is cleaning, cooking, working time for me. Next awake time is playtime and sometimes running an errand, like to the grocery store. If I Cook during this time I put him in his Bouncer and bring it in the kitchen and he likes me to sing 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed.

 

A few specific things. George is now 4 months! Tuesday he came with me to book club for relief society and was one of three babies. He can't move as easily as they can but he still liked seeing other babies. We did some missionary work with a lady the sisters are teaching. I went to a relief society conference on Saturday which was really good, which is where my spiritual thought will come from. And we went on a short outing on Saturday with jon. One of the animals we read about were Canada geese. The Canada geese are actually in two of George's books and there's a pond in our neighborhood. The weather has been very nice for winter, and so we took a walk down to the pond where there was a flock of Canada geese. We walked around and showed them to George. He was happy and seemed to be talking but didn't love the wind or being put back in the stroller.

 

So, spiritual thoughts revolve around my Stake's Relief Society Conference. We chose to go to 2 workshops. I went to one called, "A Personal Witness of Who We Are" which was on talents and one on "how are we treating our husbands" and then the last talk was on abuse (weird topic but actually very good on how to recognize it, either for yourself or those around us and how to help. One of the counselors in our stake RS Presidency is divorced but stuck with her husband for several years despite the fact that he tried to murder her multiple times.) So on talents there was a story of one lady who was told her talents would be taken away if she didn't develop them but she didn't feel she had any. So she just started acting on her desires. I really liked it. I know I have talents but my patriarchal blessing mentions talents that I am not aware of. I never fully understood how I was supposed to develop what I didn't know, but this lady acted on promptings and her desires. Anyways, some talks quoted included, "Quick to Observe" by Elder Bednar, "If Your Talents Come Incognito", Ensign, June 1991 by Anya Bateman, "I Dug Up My Talents" by Nancy Seljestand, Ensign, Mar 1976, and Marvin J Ashton's "There Are Many Gifts: Ensign, Oct 1987. One quote was from President Monson (Ensign, May 1992, p. 101), "Every woman has been endowed by God with distinctive characteristics, gifts, and talents in order that she may fulfill a specific mission in the eternal plan."

 

Concerning the "How Are We Treating Our Husbands" it mentioned how sometimes our husbands are the problem, but still all we can change is ourselves. One of the pieces of advice was to say thank you for the "invisible" things- like going to work, doing dishes, the stuff that you notice if they don't happen but sometimes take for granted otherwise. The teacher was our new Stake President's wife, she also said, sometimes guys are dense, so sometimes we just have to say, "You should thank me that the kids are alive today. (Instead of waiting for him to say thank you for your invisible work) You're now in charge, I'll be back in 10 minutes." Not that that should happen every day, but when we aren't being thanked we can just tell them what they should be thankful for that day and in essence thank ourselves. Just try to make it humorous instead of accusing. (As a side comment, she mentioned how some therapist suggests that a lack of eye contact can make a confrontation less intimidating. So possibly sitting side by side instead of face to face.) I can't remember exactly how she tied it into the rest of her talk, but she brought up Disneyland and how expensive it is to go on the rides. She also mentioned how at a State Fair, the rides are much cheaper. She said, Why is Disneyland so expensive? Because it's the Happiest Place on Earth? So why is there more requirements to get to the Celestial Kingdom? Because it's better.

I'm sorry I haven't done pictures recently. The pictures have been on my phone and my app hasn't been working. I know I could've put them on the computer but I didn't get to it, so I'm catching up on some photos now

Ready...

So these past few weeks have been crazy to say the least, but I think I am finally in a good routine. Now to the fun stuff. Brody the idiot is in my ward and wants to be friends... But better yet, I have been dating ;) WHOOP WHOOP haha. Anyway so I went on a date with this one kid Bryce. So Bryce and I have gone on 3 dates, and all were a lot of fun, but I'm just not feeling it. The first date was a lot of fun, and we played N64, went to a haunted swing which was really creepy, mainly cause it was super foggy, and went to an abandoned radio station... I think he was trying to get me scared, but I try to turn things into a joke when I am scared.. So nice try Bud, I was laughing the whole time. So our last date, we played arcade games... YAY? I stink at arcade games... I did win at air hockey though. But he didn't fill the car up with gas so we ran out of gas on our way to get ice cream. He had to push the car to a parking lot!! LOL so anyway thats been the high lights... My life is not super exciting, but I am really happy Haley is here this semester cause I like seeing her almost everyday, she has a fun group. Oh and this friend of Haley's wants to set me up with his nerdy little brother, so wish me luck with that one :)

I am Kinda ready to just go on my mission.... Boy stink... BTW I am pretty sure I am going to Russia.... ~XOXO Gossip Girl haha jk

Crazy weeks.

So I know it's been a while. Life has been crazy the last couple of weeks.

My roommate Sarah was having suicidal thoughts so she checked herself into a Behavioral Center. It was probably the last thing I was planning on. Driving down to Idaho Falls is not the most convenient drive in the middle of the week or even in the middle of the afternoon on the weekends.

However, through it all, I really have seen how grateful I am for Mom and how she has raised us. Everytime we go visit Sarah, she just hugs us and tells us how truly grateful she is to know people like Katie and I.

I remember when we first showed up to the Behavioral Center. As most of you know, I HATE hospitals. They make me sad and that's definitely not my strength. You are supposed to be strong for the people who are suffering, and I'm the one crying. When we walked into the center, a few tears rolled down my cheek and I thought, "Great, I can't be crying right now." Somehow I sucked it up and I remember when Sarah looked at me and said, "Carly, I can't do this," that the Lord somehow gave me some strength not to say, "I wouldn't be able to do this either" and just cry. Instead I was able to give her a hug and say, "You can do this," and "It's going to be ok."

It's been really nice to see how much my Bishop truly cares. He has called Sarah a couple of times, and I send him updates occasionally. It's nice that after he listens to what's going on, he always asks how I am doing.

I'm so grateful for the gospel and for the power of prayer and just the simple reminders that the Lord really does care about His children.

I still can't hear out of my ears really, but besides that, I don't feel sick. I've been trying Mom's recommendation of Bragg's vinegar (which really clears up my sinuses and makes my nose run) and then lemon and echanshea tea. I'm not sure if it's working, but worth a try.

Well, this week's goal is to get up early every day and study my scriptures instead of just reading them at night. I hope it goes well. Love you all.

Routine and The Importance of Real Intent

So, a few things from last week. Last week I mentioned things I miss. I forgot at least one thing. I miss when George would struggle to pass gas. He would clench his fists, hold his breath, grunt and push his fists up towards his face and his face would get really red. I tried so many times to take a picture and I could never quite get it. Also, my spiritual thought today is going to be on something from last week that I had forgotten about but that I really enjoyed.

Now for a brief catch up of this past week. I had sprained my ankle so things have been slow and sometimes a little hard. Coming down the stairs is the worst and when possible I have Jon carry George down the stairs so I can use my arm to hold on to the railing and the wall and hobble down the stairs. Going up the stairs isn't awful, but I look kind of like an old lady- bent over and as if I'm leaning on a cane. It's getting better though and we went to the YMCA on Friday and Saturday. I did a shortened workout. I did 15 minutes on the elliptical and went very slowly, focusing on keeping my foot flat on the pedal and rolling through when walking. I think it has helped my ankle, since it's getting better, it at least doesn't seem to have hurt anything. And then I did more sit-ups and other things.

I watched a little boy, Harrison last week twice. He was born in May of last year, so is just a little older than George. Harrison is now (as of two weeks ago) crawling. Anyways, Harrison reached out to touch George and George thought that was funny. His parents are friends of mine and the regular sitter had sick kids, so I took him for a few hours for two days last week. George is cute- like always. We're trying to get into a routine. For naps, I try to consistently take him to his room and put him in his crib. At night, he's still in our room, but when my ankle is healed I think we'll change that as well. He is starting to get into a routine of sleeping, eating and playing. Also, the past few nights George has been demanding a bedtime routine. We used to go upstairs and feed him and put him down. Well recently, he'll fight going to sleep unless we do George's 'tv time'. I start by reading a book or two (I try to rotate the ones by my bed). Then we go to the tv- which generally, George is facing us and not watching, but we do let him watch sometimes. This includes watching various youtube videos- well not always watching. Sometimes it's just a picture with a song. He especially likes when Jon sings Baby Beluga with Raffi and Bananaphone (by Raffi). He also really likes when Mommy imitates a version of "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" which Jon and I think is with an Indian accent. Other favorites include, "I Wanna Be Like You" from Jungle Book, and he loves "Brush Your Teeth" by Raffi, especially if you pretend to brush his teeth and "Down by the Bay". Anyways, he won't go to sleep unless we have done a fair amount of songs with him. And sometimes he doesn't want us to sing them- he wants to listen to the "real" versions and occasionally move/dance along.

I've been looking for youtube videos of animals. If you have a favorite animal I'll try to find one of that animal next. We watch a few a day, but I only keep the good ones, and I look for just short clips. Something where he sees the animal playing or especially ones where they're making noises- like elephant noises, or tiger sounds. He really liked a fox video we found today of baby foxes playing. He also really likes "Animal Babies" by Eric Carle- probably his favorite book right now. And he's getting better at moving and rolling. :) I could probably go on and on.

Anyways, a spiritual thought. It's kind of long but I highly recommend watching "Living with Purpose: The Importance of "Real Intent"" by Randall L Ridd (it's January 2015's Devotional. They're now calling them Worldwide Devotionals instead of CES Devotionals but can be found under Young Adults in the Gospel Library).

A few quotes I liked, "It is important, in today's world, to be intentional about why you do what you do. Living with real intent means understanding the 'why' and being aware of the motives behind your actions." He also says to "live a deliberate and focused life".

He then tells two stories. The first about how in seminary his teacher would reward students with a star on a chart whenever they would finish a book in the Book of Mormon. The speaker says how at first he wasn't motivated but then realized his name looked lonely and decided he wanted the stars next to his name and so he started reading in all his spare time. He then asks, what he gained and says, you're probably thinking I gained a testimony. You'd be wrong. I got stars. My purpose was to get stars next to my name and that's what I got. There are times when we have a spiritual moment when we're not expecting it, but the vast majority of the time, we get what we put into things. If we go to school solely for a grade, then we likely won't remember the material. If we read only for stars, we most likely will not gain a testimony. (This also would explain why some people can read the Book of Mormon and still not join the Church. They have to have real intent for the testimony to come.)

Then he gives what he calls a parable of oranges. It talks of an employee who wants a promotion and after 5 years of working for a company, there's a spot, and then he's disappointed to find that someone who had only been there for 6 months got the job instead. He went in to ask why and was asked to buy oranges for the boss's wife. He goes to the store and buys the oranges, brings the oranges back, the receipt and the change. He is then asked to sit an watch as the employee who got the promotion performs the same task. When he comes back he says that he went to the store and found there were many different types of oranges and so he called the boss's wife to find out that she wanted to make orange juice. So the man asked the grocer which kind makes the best oranges. Then when figuring out how many, he called the wife back to figure out how much orange juice she wanted to make and once again asked the grocer's assistance. Then he asked if he could have a bulk discount for buying so many and saved 25 cents per orange and dropped off the oranges before returning with change and the receipt. He then says, "You might say that one went the extra mile, or one was more efficient, or one paid more attention to detail. But the most important difference had to do with real intent rather than just going through the motions." This also reminds me of this month's visiting teaching message, which we shared with one sister this week on obedience. We talked about Abraham but then we also talked about Mary and Zacharias and Nephi and his brothers. Laman and Lemuel are always called wicked, but they were obedient. They were told to leave Jerusalem and they did. They were told to return for the plates and they did. They were told to return for wives and they did. But they did not do anything with real intent. Nephi went with a desire to do the right thing and we can see that he was blessed in the end. Mary and Zacharias was brought up by Lehua- the girl we teach. She said that Zacharias was in the temple- where, of all places, you would be most likely to receive revelation, and was told his wife would have a son. He asked how it could be, since she was old? He was stricken dumb. Mary was told she would have the Son of God and also asked, how? To Mary, there was no consequence but she was given an explanation. The difference must have been their intent, since we know God's not out to get people. Mary didn't doubt, but she didn't understand how it would happen and wanted to know; whereas Zacharias doubted and asked how. Their intent behind their question changed the outcome. So it is with us.

Towards the end he tells us to read the scriptures and pray, but with real intent. He also tells us to really remember the Savior when we partake of the Sacrament. I'm not as good as I once was in reading the scriptures and praying (especially in the morning), but I can also improve with my intent. In Relief Society last week we talked about prayer and how our morning prayers are like going over a plan for the day and our evening prayers are when we account for our day. We can also ask for other things, but they should go together and be a real meaning behind our prayers. These are things I can and want to improve on. Hopefully I'll have it down before George can remember and I can be a good example to him. It is long, (I think 45 minutes) but very good. Watch it in segments if you have to, but I really do recommend it.

I love you all! Also, if you ever want to see George feel free to send me a text and we can try to set up a time for a google hangout (video chat) so you can 'talk' to George and see him too.

Am I My Sister's Keeper?

Since my post was for last week, I will write another one as my break today! Sometimes I wish mom and I were not on the same page all the time cause we were both sick this weekend :( It sounds like she got it worse than me. I tried to still make the most of my weekend but still take it easy. So here is the logistics of  the weekend and then Ill end with some thoughts...
Friday, Amy and I took out Madison for her Birthday dinner and then came home got in my pjs and Amy walks in my room and asks if I want to go on a double date with her in 15 minutes. Um... do I have to? Yes, I went and it was really fun. The guy I went with, his date backed out at the last minute. They are boys from the ward, we have played ping-pong with them a few times and then they came over on Monday to watch the Ducks vs Buckeyes game. They really enjoyed trying to enlighten me on actors and actresses and different tv shows. I think nothing stuck- I really dont mind being naive when it comes to world facts haha. So, I went with this guy and he is really nice, we played krokee (spelling?) and then got really yummy hot chocolate. I had a lot of fun and I hope that Amy did too. (I am making more friends in the ward). Saturday, I cleaned the church and then tried to get out of a soccer game because I was feeling worse. Yep, they needed me so I played- we won I struggled breathing half the time. I am NOT in sprinting condition- it is now tuesday and I am still sore! Sunday- church, it was warm so I went on my walk, met every new person that came to ward prayer and then stopped by a few apartments to get to know them better which was really good. Monday- NO School! slept in and made a dutch oven lunch with Eden and Dakota and then took to attempting to understanding my Organic Chemistry class. I think I got it- but it sure took me awhile. I got in touch with my hippie side and looked in my Natural Medicine Encyclopedia and found a root that helps with the common cold-  I found a herbal tea that contained this root and is supposed to help so I have been drinking it and have been feeling a lot better. (not sure if its placebo or not but heck Im just glad that I can breath and hear again with just an occasional cough).
    Ok some thoughts that I am going to continue to study this week is the question, "Am I my Sister's Keeper?" Last thursday I was getting ready for the day after swimming and I ended up talking with another RM- we talked about different companions and she somehow ended up telling me that she had had a companion that struggled with depression/bipolar and ended up going home from the mission. She talked about how now she realizes that that companion is no longer her responsibility- she doesn't have to solve her problems any more and thats okay. I agreed ( and I still do to some extent). Well, Saturday I get a text from a previous comp that says, "I think I am ugly." That was it- the conversation I had on Thursday came to my mind and to be honest I was a little irritated by the text thinking really, you have learned nothing. I reacted (when I should have acted) and replied, "What? Why?" I ended up sending her a few more texts asking her who made her? Heavenly Father. If Heavenly Father made you then you are beautiful because He does not mess up. I told her that we are all different and that even though it is hard to put aside the worlds opinions, it is Heavenly Father's opinion that matters the most. We will be attracted to different things and we are not going to fit everyone's type of attraction and if they dont think we are pretty then we should look for someone that does. I told her of one of my favorite songs, "Beautiful for Me" that I found on my mission when I was just having a day where I was down on myself. It was few texts from me that I responded to in between sections of my reading- not much time sacrificed. Then Monday, she texts me again to thank me for what I had said because it meant a lot to her. FB today, "I am beginning to feel that I am beautiful." I didn't really do much- I could have followed the thursday conversation and brushed her off thinking, "She is no longer my responsibility; someone else can help." I am so glad that I did not do that. That is when I started thinking of what it means to be my sisters keeper. I have been placed in peoples lives to be an angel for them- to say what they needed to hear not because I know what needs to be said; because I allow the Lord to work through me. There was no preemptive thinking just what came to mind. I know  I cannot spend all of my time just catering my time to a single individual but I am glad that she felt comfortable to text me and that I did not pass the opportunity to serve. So for now, being my sister's keeper means allowing the Lord to work through me to help anyone that I have come in contact with (people in high shcool, Tal or Raghad in Israel, all the people from the mission, and so many more) Its those spiritual moments that give me perspective again; give me a rejuvenation to work hard and gain my education to be able to help even more people. I love the gospel. I love being one of Heavenly Father's angels. I love you all! And I LOVE the Lord! 

Sick...but still a couple thoughts

How can I be sick so long? I had a cold, no big deal, for 3 weeks during the holiday. The cough never went away. I then do a 5 day liquid cleanse and on the 4th day, get  a fever that seems to last forever. I was pretty much in bed over the weekend. Yesterday is a wash. Now it's Tuesday. I know I'm feeling better because I'm not so achey, but I still feel crappy. And the cough is still there. I laugh because even though I'm  doing nothing I still make chips and guacamole for a birthday party, sit in the car so Julie can drive and get things done, feed the missionaries, make Sunday dinner, feed the missionaries, did the wash and make a few phone calls. I am so done with this. I think Nyquil for a couple days is too much for me. Just can't focus.

Anyways, thoughts? I can do anything. I don't work. I like to get things done and like to see things accomplished, but it's really nice to have a nice home and the ability to take it easy. I see you kids growing up and starting your own lives. It makes me happy and I'm proud of you. I see Jamie with George and how much fun she is having being a new mom - I hope all of you get a baby like George (at least for your first one).

I don't know how we're going to keep together and keep things going over the years. I do my best, but I realize that not everyone will be happy. I need to figure out Peru in May and then see if we can get together before Katie leaves on a mission. Everyone's got priorities which are important and it will only get more complicated. Life is full of so many possibilities and because of Dad we have so many possibilities. (And maybe even more because of me because I am not a woman who needs to spend lots of money on me or my clothes or on my home). Be good stewards of the opportunities you have.

God is Good Always. (as Cass always says). LISTEN.

xo Mommy

Missionary Work and George

Alright, so this past week. George is more mobile. He can turn like a clock and face any direction he wants. He likes rolling onto his side and is getting close to rolling from his back to his stomach and vice versa. He will be rolling all over the room soon. He likes being scared. The more he jumps the more he laughs. He is also very vocal- not necessarily unhappy but just loud sometimes. He gets distracted while eating too. He'll stop and look up, kinda like a child peeking around the corner and then when he gets caught, turns abruptly and acts shy. He likes songs more now. He especially likes Raffi and Disney songs. Jon even got the guitar out and sang a live version of Raffi's 'Bananaphone' that George especially liked.

I've been helping the missionaries out a lot. The sisters were without a car and I had an investigator over to our house who came to church. The sisters taught her the Word of Wisdom and then committed her to live it, without telling her the blessings. They emphasized that it was a revelation from our prophets and that prophets are the mouthpiece of the Lord and she committed to give up her coffee- just like that. No questions asked. Then I gave them a ride on P-day from a Drs appointment, to the library and back home. Then I took them out to Greene County- about 20-30 minutes away to a member's house (a man) whose brother lives with him and is investigating the church. Then I went with the elders to a lesson with a member- an inactive member who doesn't remember the last ward that had her records (because she's been inactive for that long). It went really well. They were teaching Alma 32 on faith and asked me to share a testimony on how it's helped me. After, she just up and says, "I'd like to come to church on Sunday". Sadly she didn't come. She had forgotten that she had offered to babysit for someone.

We recently got a membership to the YMCA. Saturday we went and Jon took George to the pool while I worked out, then we were going to switch. I could see them from the elliptical machine upstairs through a window, so that was fun. When I was heading down the stairs I was careless for just a moment and took a longer stride than the stair. By so doing, I missed the next step and when I landed my ankle twisted and I collapsed. It seemed alright- a little sore, but just like it had been twisted. About 6 hours later my ankle decided to become stiff and swell like a golf ball was in there. So I have a sprained ankle. Fun stuff.

Also, Friday night we had our married student institute class. Saturday Jon had a friend over, and Sunday was church and we had choir afterwards and that evening I talked with Jim and Janet Danials. For those of you who don't know, I contacted them after finding that they had done some work on the Davis side. Janet is our 4th cousin twice removed and Mom's 4th cousin once removed. I forgot to ask if they had kids but they joined the church back in the 70s and I know they have one son (at least) who would be Mom's 5th cousin. So I feel like things have been busy.

I'm trying to think of where my thoughts have been and I'm not entirely sure. I miss George pulling his hair and looking at me with this look of "This hurts Mom. Why are you doing this to me?" Such a sad look but funny at the same time. I miss his hair sticking up- it still does sometimes but it lays down more. And spiritually I've been thinking about my testimony. The experience I shared with Alma 32 was when I first started gaining my own personal testimony. We were raised with good parents who taught us well and I don't feel I ever really doubted much, but there was a time I consider the turning point in forming my own testimony- knowing it was true for myself. Mom had me talk to Sister Barrus and ask how I could best prepare for seminary (she was going to be my Freshmen teacher). She told me to read the Book of Mormon. It was the first time I read it on my own and when I got to Moroni it tells us to reflect and ponder and pray if these things are not true. I started thinking about everything we're taught. Then I started imagining a world with no Book of Mormon. No God who loves His children. No prophets. No Jesus Christ. The picture was very hopeless. In coordination with Alma 32 I decided I WANTED to believe. That desire was all I needed. Then I felt a peace as I started to accept the things I had been taught and things I've learned since then have only strengthened my testimony. But for me, it started with a choice. A choice based on a desire to believe. This church is good soil and the desire was all that was needed for the seed to grow.