7 months and the Holy Ghost

So this last week- I feel like it was busy but I can't remember everything. Saturday we had a baptism and Jon did the baptism and confirmation. It was a very nice baptism and there were some very good talks. Earlier on Saturday Jon went to help a family move/clean and then went to another service project. Then I went to a baby shower. Then we had the baptism and then we had people over for Nintendo.

Sunday we had a Regional Conference broadcast from Salt Lake. There were problems with the audio and it was VERY hard to hear. I gave up on the woman speaker (she was pretty much inaudible- even when straining to hear) and didn't really get much out of any of the other talks. The whole time they were trying different things to try to solve the problem. I guess like 110 other locations were also having problems with the audio. We got the audio on in time for the last 10 minutes of the last speaker.



We still haven't heard about Jon's test- they still have another week to get back to us. But George is now 7 months and wants to walk (with help) and wants to move everywhere. He can scoot very well backwards but doesn't understand crawling forward (though at times I think he's close). We heard from the complex we will be moving into and they think they can get us in May 28th- which would be great!

George and I went to the library without Jon last week because Jon went out to Illinois for a make-up lesson day. George really likes playing with this one activity cube with a bead maze on top (the things with the wooden beads that are on metal wires that swirl around and such), and then has different things on the sides. One side has some gears glued on and George REALLY likes those.




At the baptism I was thinking about the Holy Ghost. I subbed for a Primary class back in the Westlake Ward and they had an analogy that I really liked. Imagine a boom box (with a analog radio dial). You have to be really careful to make sure you have the right station, if you go a little too far, you could miss the channel you're looking for. When you get the Gift of the Holy Ghost, you not only are told which channel the Holy Ghost speaks on, but you get a boom box- so you can take it with you wherever you go. I don't know that I believe that the Holy Ghost ever leaves you, even if you go to that party. I think sometimes when we know we are not doing something right, we choose to leave our boom box behind- but I feel it is us who chooses to do the leaving. Sometimes we choose to leave the boom box at home when we go to some party we feel isn't right, or do something we know to be wrong. Or sometimes we take the boom box with us but we turn it off. In the blessing we are told to "receive" the Holy Ghost. We have to be in tune to hear the Spirit and we have to make sure that any extra noise doesn't keep us from listening to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost.

Plan of Happiness

I read a good talk this week from Pres. Uchtdorf in 2008. It was "A Matter of a Few Degrees". I really liked it and I think it's one of those that you should keep and reread every now and then. http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/a-matter-of-a-few-degrees?lang=eng

"Remember: the heavens will not be filled with those who never made mistakes but with those who recognized that they were off course and who corrected their ways to get back in the light of gospel truth."

In Young Women's we've been talking about the Apostasy and the Restoration. God has a plan for all His children as a whole and for us individually. WE have the opportunity of basking in the light in the fullness of times. The priesthood of God is back on the earth, the same power by which the universe was created, and the only thing which limits our ability to exercise that power is the sanctity of our lives.

And Emma Homan gave her homecoming talk today. I think I cried more than I do at my own children's talks. This sweet girl, who many of us loved dearly, couldn't see her worth two years ago. No matter how much we loved her we couldn't make her feel it. I cried out of love and joy that our Father in Heaven has for all of us. I cried because she can finally see and feel His love. And oh, what joy that brings. What joy the gospel brings into our lives. She talked about how reading at least 10 minutes a day, praying and attending Church makes all the difference. She ended with a scripture in Alma that she said kind of described her life, and then her testimony in word and sign language.

Alma 26:15-
Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work.

She also said that her mission was the hardest thing she's loved to do!

My message this week is that the gospel of Jesus Christ is the Plan of Happiness. It requires prayer and humility. It requires change. We live in the fulness of times and where much is given, much IS required. It is hard and we will love doing it. God loves us. We are continually encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love. We are to be instruments in his hands.

This I know.

With love,
Mommy

Stay in the boat and my first paid singing gig

This last week felt really busy to me. I had rehearsals every night and a performance Saturday. My first paid gig! If any are interested, it's,  "On the Transmigration of Souls" by John Adams. It's considered to be "minimalism"- I don't really know what that means but it's supposed to be about 9/11 and two climaxes, one when each tower is hit. There are times when the instruments sound like traffic and cars honking and it was REALLY hard to sing. Most of the times our notes were not played by any instrument and often clashed with what others were singing/playing. I was not part of the main chorus but a small children's chorus that's almost inaudible on some YouTube recordings. Anyways, it's a weird piece. It was moving, live. If you want to look it up I would recommend just jumping around and not listening to the whole thing. The last 5 minutes is after the choir is done singing. I think it was the most challenging piece I've ever sang, especially since I was a first alto and had weird jumps. My part went from an a below middle c to a g- the one just above the staff.

We had a few babysitters throughout the week and George seemed to have fun.

In other news, George got shots and we got a new (to us) toy. He's banging stuff so I got a drum thing with some attachments for $3.50.

I don't remember much else from the week.

Sunday, I fed Georgeat the end of sacrament, I went to the bathroom, then got settled in Sunday school and then realized George needed a diaper change and a change of clothes. So I missed Sunday school. I helped jon out in nursery the third hour. He has the best behaved nursery class I've ever seen. They have three nurseries and Jon is in the middle one. The door was opened and no one tried to escape. They sat for snack, listened to a lesson, no hitting or pushing, everyone helped clean up... anyways, I was impressed.

Jon had meetings after church, he didn't remember about one, that went til one, so we didn't plan to drive separately, but George was pretty good and he made friends with two twins in the other ward. They're a few months older than George, 2 or 3 months older and we know the parents and George has seen the parents but their twins have either been at home or sleeping when we've seen the parents. Last night we went to a fireside where a recent convert gave her conversion story and then we had an impromptu game night.

Oh, Jon had his retake exam on Friday and felt much better about things.

Spiritual thought- for Friday forum we listened to the talk that says to "stay in the boat". Because of George, I don't remember all of it but I started thinking of the Titanic. No boat is immune to sinking. We all can hit an iceberg. So we need to continue to make repairs when needed by going to church, reading scriptures, praying, going to the temple, etc. We need to be spiritually prepared for emergencies and make sure we have enough life boats. Plans may change but we need to stay afloat and keep heading towards our destination. Just because our mode of transportation may change temporarily doesn't mean we give up on our destination.

I am grateful for the Lord's hand in our Lives - April 19, 2015

So I haven't blogged for awhile - I don't know - just got out of the habit and fell into the pit of Danny, Carly, Cassie, Katie and Julie (don't know if we included Michelle, Jon and Dad). Some have written some and others none. Jamie has been the only consistent one.

I makes me think of the Old Testament when you'd get to the parts and So-and-So begat So-and-So, who begat So-and-So.... It's like catching up. Haha

I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to go from here.

So grateful for the Lord's hand in our lives so much lately. So grateful for the gospel and His blessings.

So happy Michelle and Danny's baby is doing well. Grateful that we could fast as a family and have a part in that blessing. With that, always grateful for George and how cute and wonderful he is! A week doesn't go by that someone doesn't say something about him (and he doesn't even live here and I'm not even social).

Happy that Julie is doing well and does well with me gone. It makes me sad sometimes that she doesn't seem to need me. Every weekend she has friends that she is hanging out with. It allows me to go and help Cassie with her kidney stone or go this past week when Carly graduated. AND with that, grateful that Dad supports me so I can do those things and helps out (or Danny and Michelle).

Carly is the first college grad. It was so intense and stressful her last week of school and the competition in Boise. She can handle stress, but when hours after her first thoughts were something about the competition - she just couldn't get her mind to stop.

Somehow we got through graduation and opened Katie's call - Piura, Peru. Still wake up and  have to say that to myself. It seems unreal, but so happy for that little tender mercy that will connect her and Carly. (In a way, a lot of Louisiana and Houston were a like too). I really didn't think Katie would wait a week to open her call - she did it!!! A mission in hard, but Katie will be a great missionary.

Cassie is getting through this semester. I know there were many times when she thought it wasn't possible, but she's got to feel proud of all the things she's accomplished and survived. Now the question will be, "Can she allow herself to slow down?"

So I'm in the process of planning the time left with Katie. I'm trying to consider everyone's demands and schedules. I wish life was more simple, but I'm good at trying to fit in as much as we can. I realize that life is changing and feel a little torn with my family (those not married) and those that are married and moving on with their family. I know things won't always seem fair or the way we would want them to be. (If everyone would just commit to live in the same place, but everyone needs to follow where the Lord wants them). This next Christmas Jon and Jamie will be in Utah (?) and Danny and Michelle will be in GA (?). Carly's program is 16 months, pretty much straight through, Cassie won't want to be home...and I still have Julie home. Next summer - it will probably be Danny and Michelle and Julie. I don't know how everything will work out, but please know that even if someone's not happy with how things work out, I love you and wish things could be different. I wish everyone could go to Peru, but I'm more happy that we have George. I am happy that Michelle is pregnant and doing well. I am proud of the decisions they have made to start their families and their families are important.

And I'll end with just a few thoughts that I had written just before Easter.

I haven't written in a couple weeks. An unexpected trip to Utah. Thinking about the Last Week of the Savior's life. Oddly the part that stood out to me this year was Peter. When the Apostles and the Savior are all together and the Savior tells them that one will betray him. and Peter announces that he is ready to follow Jesus anywhere, even to death. The Savior says, "Really??? Cause before this night is over you will deny me, not one, not two, but three times". A couple times the next couple days I realized that I too, was denying Christ. One time was when a friend who is Christian, but married a Jewish man told me his parents were coming for Passover from Jerusalem. I was more concerned with respecting and listening to her. I did take time to visit with a Muslim man, tell him I was Mormon and made a new friend at the same time. But I should do more. Oh yeah, most people who know me, know that I am Mormon, they know my values and they know I live my values. But I need to be more active in sharing how the gospel blesses my life, how the atonement works in my life, how the Holy Ghost guides and comforts me.

I am grateful for the Lord's hand in our lives.

Frustrations, new place, George and random spiritual thoughts

Alright so this week I've been frustrated a few times. Twice had to do with the same basic story. Family W- 4 kids, mom is dying of cancer and family C- has been in charge of renting their place out (since they're with family until she passes). Family c rented out their place but the deposit check bounced and the girl has not paid rent in 4 months. They started seeing lawyers and it's been a headache. They got called over for a maintenance request and found the toilet and sink cracked (most likely from a huge fight)and water damage and the locked room downstairs had been broken into and stuff had been stolen. Almost everything of value  (bikes, wii, and other stuff) is gone. I heard the story and was like even if this girl is getting evicted, you can't trust her with the rest of their stuff. I offered to store stuff during the eviction process in George's room and the downstairs room that we are allowed to use and since family c and family w are friends with my landlord I said, I'm sure we can ask her about storing more stuff here temporarily. Anyways, this made me frustrated at the girl that I don't know for stealing from this family that is already going through an awful time. Well this leads into situation 2. My landlord heard about the story via Facebook (the RS got involved and helped catalog stuff for a police report and move stuff out). She offered to store stuff at her house. (So obviously she doesn't mind helping out. ) family c said, yeah I talked to Jamie and she said she would ask you if we needed it and were willing to store stuff in their bedroom. But they didn't need it, they had already rented a storage unit. Anyways, landlord got mad at me, but didn't call me, called jon and chewed him out because apparently I'm not allowed to talk to others about asking my landlord or talk at all. I guess she doesn't want stuff stored there, even though she obviously doesn't care if she was offering herself (which she actually can't do workout consulting us first to have someone move it into the house while we're renting here.) I guess I should tell her we bought a $5 little basketball hoop that we're storing in her house (albeit in a room we're paying to use) because George can't use it yet. I was really mad when it happened and not in a good mood to text or call her. Number one, I have every right to bring anything into the rooms we're using in the house, so long as it doesn't damage the house or isn't against any part of our contract. Number two, I'm going to use an analogy. If her oldest child does something you don't chew out the youngest and expect results. She has my number unless she deleted it. If she's mad at me for talking to someone then she shouldn't chew out jon. Anyways, those were two things from this week. The third time I got frustrated was in Jon's behalf and I won't get into details here.

On a happier note. We found a place to live. It's a nice place and we thought it was expensive but it includes most utilities (water, sewer, trash recycling, Internet, and cable-though we haven't really used cable). We pay electric. So it'll be very close to what we were paying at our first place and it has an indoor pool and a gym and practice rooms and other stuff that we probably won't use.

George still has a cough and Jon has been sick but is getting better. Friday I sang "he came for me" at institute. That night we had our married institute class. Saturday Jon's students in Bedford had a recital and that night we fed the missionaries and then I went to a lesson with the sisters. Today we had church which was good. I got to stay in for almost all of the classes. Then we drove out to Illinois where half of Jon's students there were in Peter pan, the musical. George liked it when they started "flying". He like perked up and leaned forward. He also really liked the green light for tinker bell.

George has slept through the night 3 times this week! His new trick is shaking his head no (there was a little girl doing it at church today).George looks a little drunk doing it but has picked it up quickly. He has gotten on his knees two or three times but won't crawl. He did try to pull himself up and stand but couldn't quite get it.

Spiritual thoughts: from institute on Friday there was a quote that said something like, just because there is something worse doesn't make something bad, right. Like just because there are r-rated movies doesn't make a pg-13 movie good (not that they're necessarily bad, that's just my example. I think he had a better one).

From the missionary lesson, “no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no offense exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness” (Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Oct. 1995, 22; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 19). This statement is very full of hope.

From sacrament meeting today a 4 year old boy got up and said
"I believe in Jesus Christ
And you should too
He is our Savior
And He'll save you". Then he sat down on the stand and waited for his dad to bear a testimony.

In Sunday school we were talking about parables and someone brought up how being born again is a mini parable because he didn't mean to climb back into our mother's womb and be born again. I started thinking about birth. At our birth we take on the name of our parents. We start fresh. It is a beginning. We are clean. (If we really consider this a parable it is another testimony of how children are born free of sin and are innocent until the age of accountability- if they weren't then it wouldn't be a good parable for how baptism cleanses us.)

And from Relief society we were talking about the importance of the First Vision. The teacher asked why it could be considered the most important event after Jesus Christ's life, ministry, Atonement, death and resurrection. It made me think of my own answer. Jesus Christ is the most important but if He is not on the earth, the most important person would be His mouthpiece- our Prophet. But we would not have a prophet today if it were not for Joseph smith's vision. Sure, there were many miracles in the old Testament but the most important prophet is whichever one is living and telling us what we need to know now. In the old Testament that would've been those prophets, but now it's Thomas s Monson who is only a prophet because of Joseph smith's First Vision.

RFRA, Any Opposed?, and Easter

Alright, so this week. .. we went and saw a lot of apartments and have been trying to decide where to move. It's been busy. And then we cooked (jambalaya) for institute and the institute choir sang. George got sick and is still sick-poor guy. He has a cough. He is fighting naps though and as a result is conking out earlier in the evening. He has gone to bed between 8:30-9:30 for three nights now and has slept till 4 am  (a great stretch! )

For Easter, I went to the dollar store to pick up a few things. I hid eggs for jon to find and then left a bag and told him to hide some for me. I read a thing about making Jesus baskets instead of Easter baskets. .. so I found some fake candles to represent Christ and then George got some Christian board books (an Easter one from mom and a bible ABC book from me)- the rest was normal easter stuff, so not exactly the Jesus baskets described. I also got bubbles for George- not quite ready for that but we'll keep them and try again in a few months. He watched them but we didn't get any other reaction. He really liked the fake grass.

We had the sister missionaries and a recent convert over for the first session today. We had the entemanns cheese coffee crumb cake thing for a snack. This morning jon sang at another church but I stayed home with George (since he's sick). We had ham and potatoes for dinner.

So conference- I liked many of the talks. Some talks I heard snippets of and thought I'm going to need to re read that one when I'm not distracted with George. I felt like there were many needed talks. I don't know if you're aware but there's a huge ordeal here with indiana passing a religious freedom restoration bill or a RFRA. So many people have called it unconstitutional, but this country was founded on religious freedoms. Making a law to help protect those rights is not unconstitutional. It has reminded me of prop 8 and done of the hostility then. I'm also surprised at how many members here have spoken out about the bill, and many of those I thought were intelligent enough to base their opinions on the actual law instead of celebrities that are not known for being brilliant law interpreters or even that brilliant in anything. Anyways, there were good talks that I felt said things that needed to be said with the RFRA bill being passed.

We were having connection problems with our Internet so we actually missed the live clip of "any opposed? ". Jon and I read up about a few things on their page. First, on their page, they were helping people get tickets so they could go to oppose and encouraged them to oppose out loud since the general authorities would probably not be able to see their hand with the lights on their faces and with how many people are there. Makes sense. But, general conference isn't the only time we sustain our leaders. Are they not active to attend their local meetings throughout the year to oppose them in a setting where they don't have to be disruptive or thought to be rude? I'll say more on opposing leaders in a minute. Next I need to quickly mention another thing that is on their page. They say there are many different reasons people oppose. One of which, is concerning LGBT, and how they are denied sexual needs "fundamental to human happiness". To put it bluntly, there are two reasons for sex - one is for procreation (which only happens between a man and a woman) and the other is to strengthen our relationship with our partner. There is no need to strengthen a relationship sexual that will never, on earth or in heaven, be able to procreate. And as for fundamental to one's happiness? I didn't know Sheri Dew (as one example) was incapable of achieving happiness because she has been denied this "need". Our happiness is not dependent on anything sexual. The natural man is an enemy to god. One of our purposes in this life is to learn to control our bodies. To bridle our passions and let our spirits have control. Anyways, I'm choosing not to go on there.

Members have the right to oppose our leaders. Reasons to oppose are if we feel they are unworthy to receive the necessary revelation to fulfill their calling. If we oppose, we are pulled aside after to discuss our concerns. Our leaders are still human and capable of making mistakes. But, even if we have the right to oppose, it is only to let our concerns be known. It is by no means a vote, but it gives the chance to reaffirm revelation. Let's use an example from the early church. Let's say I knew someone was conspiring against Joseph in the 12. If I opposed and told Joseph afterwards, then they may have been released/excommunicated. But just because I don't like what they say doesn't mean it's not from God. "Whether by mine own voice or the voice of my servants the prophets, it is the same. " (possibly not the exact quote, it's in D&C 1). Some of our core beliefs include the Savior's Atonement and resurrection. And because he lives, he still lives us enough to call a prophet. This is where we differ from other churches. We believe our prophets and apostles are called of God and that when they speak to us (especially in general conference and any message with the seal of the first presidency) it is what God wants said. If we don't like what's being said, well that's tough. The wicked take the truth to be hard. We do not believe that mankind, imperfect, know more than God and to say that what he is telling us through his prophets isn't right is to tell God, Himself, that He is wrong. In that case, what point is there in changing a church run by God, if one feels they know better than Him. It doesn't matter if we understand why a commandment is asked of us, it matters that we follow because we have faith in God knowing more than we do. It doesn't matter if the world is different- we believe we should be in the world but not of it. It doesn't matter if we don't like what's being said, our duty is to trust God. God trusts His prophets and apostles; and if God trusts them, who am I to know better than Him? I know Christ lives and that he had restored His church on the earth with a prophet leading it. I know Christ talks to His prophets and apostles. I know that when they speak, they are speaking for Him, whether I like it or not it's what I need to hear and what I need to do. My job is to pray for understanding and help in being faithful to what is said. If I legitimately know of something that makes an apostle unworthy to receive the revelation needed to fulfill his calling, then and only then, will I oppose, temporarily. I will relay what I may know and then trust in God's servants. If the calling remains the same, then it is my duty to sustain them. God has forgiven them and so must I.

I want to end on a less intense note since today was easter. There has been a lot happening recently and honestly I could've vented even more than I did. With everything happening it has reaffirmed a few things to me. This Church is true. What that really means. There is no need for love and tolerance unless there are different views to be tolerated and loved. It is important for us to stand up for what we believe in. The loudest voice isn't necessarily right. There was one talk that said that the media portrays things that aren't mainstream, but they are the loudest messages. This is what is happening with the RFRA bill. Those who support religious freedom are silenced or drowned out. Today in one of the talks, I don't remember what the speaker said, but I started to think of the prodigal son and how we are all prodigal sons. And then, sure enough the speaker then brought up the story and then related how we are all prodigal sons. We all squander our inheritance in different ways, and we all return at different times (this reminded me if the parable of the laborers who were all paid the same amount despite how much of the day they worked). But there is always a celebration, for us, when we return. This is because we have a loving heavenly father. The one brother who stayed behind and didn't squander his inheritance is the one who atoned for us and died for us. He will allow us to be joint heirs with Him. In our stories, both the Father and Son who remained both run to meet us and prepare the celebration.

A few weeks together

Alright so I missed a post last week and I don't know if I can remember two weeks. Mom called on a Tuesday and asked if it's be crazy and willing enough to fly out with George on Thursday. So I said yes. I had to pack carefully since I would have to carry everything and George by myself. Anyways, that was an adventure preparing for that. So I flew out. Thursday night we stayed home. Friday we got nails done, eyebrows waxed and some shoe shopping. That evening was time out for women. Jenny Oaks baker was amazing. Among others. I was a little worried about George- not because I didn't trust danny and Julie but because it was the longest I've been away. Saturday George came with us. I didn't pay as much attention to the speakers but I also wasn't worried about George. That evening I took a nap when we got home and woke up in time for pizza. Sunday was good with church and then I don't remember what else, but grandma's house that night. Monday, mom, grandma, julie, George and I went to the Santa Barbara zoo. Originally Michele was going to come with us but she wasn't feeling well. That night we got pictures done.  Tuesday we went to get George's haircut, then shopping- Shoes for me, clothes for George, even 2 tops for jon. Wednesday morning I went to Annas house. Came home, packed, took pictures (after haircut), went to lunch and ran to the airport. It was a very good trip and I knew before hand but was reminded that Danny and Michelle will make great parents. Took it easy on Thursday and Friday and got back on schedule. Saturday jon and I took George for a walk. Later we went for a drive around town looking at apartments. Last night I got George to sleep and then fell asleep myself for 2 hours, then George woke up and I couldn't get back to sleep. I prayed for danny and Michelle, thought about baby names,and was actually fasting for the first time since finding out I was pregnant. They tell nursing mothers not to fat because it can affect milk production but I thought this was worth it. I felt great- not as hungry as I thought I'd be. Choir sang in sacrament meeting today and I thought they sounded good. I almost fell asleep in gospel doctrine though. (I think I got a total of 3 hours of sleep Saturday night). Relief society George was passed around. Anyways, things have been good and crazy.

Funny mini story, not laugh out loud funny, just more unique?: on the flight to California, I was playing with George on the plane and all of a sudden realized that our oxygen masks has fallen. I almost reached up to grab one for me and then for George when I realized, no one else on the plane has masks hanging above their heads. Just our row. The man on the aisle eventually saw them looked around and then made a face at me like he was about to laugh. His wife or girlfriend was asleep on his shoulder but I think he did chuckle cause she woke up to something and noticed the oxygen masks. She looked up and was like, "we're low on oxygen? " I said,  "yep, but just our row." Later she said that what I said was funny but she was tired and it took her a minute to process that our row wasn't actually low on oxygen. For future notice, there are 4 masks in each row. So if you are flying one day with a child on your lap, make sure no one else has a child on their lap so you'll have enough masks to go around.

So adding on another week. This week we spent a lot of time apartment/house shopping. Most places here start at $700 and go up. There's one place that's below that because it's specialized housing but the wait list is over 70 people. You can jump the wait list if you take over someone else's lease, so we'll have to look into that, but there's still paper work too. We found out on Saturday that if you are on the wait list you can't take someone else's lease. So, anyways, we're looking for a backup because apparently a few families are trying to use stake connections as far as who might be moving out of that complex. We found a listing for a 3 bedroom home with a 2 car garage for $850/month-an awesome deal, so we have an appointment to see that and a few more places this week.

We're not quite sure what to do though. We think we'll stay in Bloomington, but there are two opportunities for jon where being in Bloomington would be inconvenient. So we're not sure we want to sign a lease somewhere yet. There is an opening that hasn't been posted yet for music faculty at a university in Terra haute. We have a friend there who can put in a good word for jon, but since he's not in the vocal musical department, we're not sure if his word and Jon's resume will be enough. Then at the community college in Illinois, there's a possibility that Jon may run the music department there for a year (which would look awesome on a resume but would be full time and we'd want to live closer). That one, the current head of the music department is Jeshua. He graduated from a university in Washington that has contacted him about filling a vacancy they have for a year which gives them time to do a complete nationwide search to fill the position permanently, but they haven't decided of that's what they'll do yet. They told him they'd let him know by the end of may. If he leaves, he wants to recommend jon to fill in in Illinois for a year. Jeshua does have a big say so there but not the final word. Anyways, we're looking for places in Bloomington but we don't want to sign a lease for a year yet because we may not want to be in Bloomington. But we need to be out of the house by June 1st. Jon is taking tests over the summer. One will be on June 8th and the other the middle of July (that was the first and last slots available for summer). So we're debating subleasing or putting stuff in storage and heading west for the summer. If we put stuff in storage, we will likely stay in a cheap motel in Bloomington for a week (til the first test) and then head out west. And then fly or drive back in time for the second one depending on if we know where we're moving to or any other reasons.

That was most of our week. We also went to the library and institute and cleaned the church on Saturday. Oh on that note, they planned that poorly. They assigned families to clean the church. They assigned one part member family that isn't very active, one small family (who happened to be out of town) and three other families. They always assign 5 families. But essentially they planned for only three families to clean which consists of 6 adults, 3 kids under the age of one and one rambunctious toddler who is the terror of all the nurseries. Needless to say, we recruited 3 other families and 6 missionaries to help and it still took 3 hours to clean the church.

I ended up with food poisoning and didn't make it to church yesterday. But things are good and George is doing well too. He slept through the night once last week- improvement! (7 hours of uninterrupted sleep! )

Spiritual thought- with the general women's conference I felt like I needed to do a better job of making our house a home and safe haven. I want to be better at having a homey smell that permeates the house and have music that invites  peace. I want to emphasize the importance of scriptures and scripture study. I liked the one quote that tied God to motherhood, but I didn't write it down.

One last note- I did visiting teaching this last week. We taught one lady at the church and then after I went with her to the next room- the family history center. I know how to register with ancestry. Com and a few other sites! I'll send the link to everyone so they can set up their free accounts to use whenever.

A piece of life.

This week has been busy like every other week. It started out with me feeling very apathetic about it all. I studied the first half of the week for my Intro to Organic Chemistry class- felt good about it. Took the test and walked out with a C. Sometimes i wonder if it is even worth studying! IT was kinda frustrating. After the other week with the boy I liked I tried to just see him as a friend. Well, it did not work. I saw him every day in class and then I think everyday after class to study for the test and a class that he had missed. I hate that I have to move forward, without him and I just really dont want to. It amazes me how much I am caught up in him and we have only been on one official date. 

Sports- my soccer team got pumped up 2 division and I was pretty nervous for our game- we won 8-1 so  I guess we belong there. I really like my team, they are good but also just fun. I showed m intertube waterpolo team the syncrinzed swimming caps and they love them. We won our first game. Then for wallyball we can only lose one more time. (I think that one I am the least committed to; but Eden gets pretty into it which is kinda funny). 

It turned out for the better: this weekend I was supposed to go camping with Eden and Dakota right after I got out of the hospital on Friday. Well, I get a text from her right as I am walking into the hospital saying they cant go anymore; I was really bummed because I had all these great plans to get out of Provo a lot this semester and none of them have happened just because this semester had a lot of twists and turns and tears with it all. I ended up working late at the hospital late that day; BUT, I actually got to help on a procedure. I didn’t do much but all the nurses were occupied so I watched a super elderly lady when they weren’t in the room. I quickly loved her- she reminded me of grandpa and Norma- I got her water and had to help her drink it. Then I had to help get her in the bed, held her legs as the nurse put all the stuff on her wounds; then when we went to check on her bed sore we found a surprise and had to change a full diaper haha. It was really nice to be able to help- I really am glad that I did this. A little tender mercy to me was hearing the other nurses, med. techs, and receptionist honestly tell me how much they love me. Apparently the other volunteers are always trying to just do homework or counting the minutes until they can leave. I am constantly asking what can I do, do you need help?, cleaning something, and just hoping there is something for me to do. I wish I could do more. The nurse said that is why she felt comfortable asking me if I could help with the procedure because I actually want to be there. (I also tend to stay late; technically my shift ends at 4 but there is usually only a few more patients and so just stay and finish with everyone. It makes me laugh a bit because the volunteer office said that they could not write me a letter of recommendation because I am leaving early; but I wonder if they even talk to the people that I work with because they love me… I had another little scare- during the procedure I almost fainted again. I have noticed my heart rate is pretty low (like right now was 48beats/minute). I did not really too much before I worked, or maybe it was the smell and it is always warm in the clinic. So I am not sure. I feel fine when I am working out which I feel if it was an actual problem that I should have looked at then it would show up more when I am working out and running; but it is when I finally stop and am just observing- I dont feel like it is what I am seeing- though I have learned that I do not think that I want to be a surgeion- but maybe I am locking my knees. Well, something that I am going to have to watch…

So instead of going camping I made my own fun. The one boy told me that I should take his tent so I didnt have to share with a married couple. So he made fun of the fact that I did not know how to set up a tent- he showed me and then let me take it. Well, my pride was on the line so I set up the tent all by myself in my living room to make sure his tent did not go to waste and to prove that I could set up a tent! And YES I slept in it :) Though I am too bony and now have a bruise on my hip… I need to learn to sleep on my back I guess. I watched a movie in my fort about Hawaii- it was good and just good night of nothing! Then Saturday, a friend from the mission took me repelling! Oh my it is super fun :) I am a natural is what they told me and that I was ready to try canyoneering- not sure if dad knows what that is but I dont know if he would approve either. But I am going to go the next time they go! It is a little scary to get over the edge but then it is just fun :) Also, MIkaela and Brandon are going to take me rock climbing this coming friday which I am really excited for. Also, Mikaela is going to try and set me up with a boy that she works with, that might be good to help move forward. Cousins dinner is tomorrow- I figured since I didnt go camping I could organize this haha. but I am excited for it. 

Well, I am trying to stay calm. If I start thinking about everything I get super overwhelmed; so instead I just try and stay focused on a few things. Accomplish them and then move on to the next thing. It was  good weekend- I wish that I was home to see George! But I am doing much better than last week- getting out and doing something that I am only doing for fun is good for me. There is no obligation other than to enjoy myself- those moments are great! I still have no idea where my life is going but I just have to keep walking and know that it will end up a beautiful masterpiece! Aloha wau ia oe!