Life is getting back into a routine- still finding people to keep in touch with. So many times I have looked at my life and thought that I didn't have that many friends. Mom and I are kinda different which has its positives and negatives. I have realized that even though I don't really have best friends, no core group to hang with every week- I have friends that truly want to see me and they have missed me too.
Thoughts I have had this week have come from our Stake Conference this week. The saturday session was all about Hastening the Work and I have thought a lot about that and what I can do. What is my role now? It isn't my role anymore to spend 24/7 knocking doors and inviting others unto Christ; but it is my job 24/7 to be a disciple of Christ. It is my role to be an example of Him all the time by the way I live. I have promised my life to building the kingdom of God. There isn't just one type of builder- I dont have to be a seminary teacher or a doctor of religion to do that- I can build His kingdom by being a physician or doctor or whatever I choose. Elder Nelson talked about how we believe in angels and he said that some are ones we don't see but some are our neighbors, friends, or random strangers. I thought to myself I want to be an angel. I remembered when a recent convert thanked me for being an angel to her family. She didn't realize that she was an angel to me too.
I walked to school today and tried to just smile at people, but more faces were turned to the ground. Why? Dont they realize that they are missing the miracles and angels around them. This week I talked to one of my converts because it was his year mark of being baptized. Raymond is now 12 and is the only member of his family- he now walks to church by himself because the missionaries don't go over as often. As I talked to him I asked him if he remembered me, "Yes, your were my favorite sister." He asked when I was coming back because he missed me. For a good while I was homesick for Hawaii. Then I remembered another story that a Sister told in stake conference. She works at the MTC as a teacher and one day the teachers were having a devotional and all shared how much they loved their missions and the spiritual experiences they had had their. When all the teachers had finished their head leader and told them that he was glad that they had all had wonderful missions but that those spiritual experiences should still be happening weekly. Why are you missing the moments and only turning to your mission for your spiritual moments? So yes this is hard because my heart is so torn to pieces. I am having a great time here at college, but a part of me is in Jerusalem, another at home with what used to be our family, and another in Hawaii. I learned on the mission that even though Im torn I can still love. The more fully I give Heavenly Father my heart the bigger my heart can grow. It hurts every time but it is so full at the same time. Right now He is requiring me to grow again and it is for my benefit.
There is a poly in my ward that I found out that doesn't have the best of friends and doesnt always make the best decisions- well we had a bet going that I could beat him at SuperSmash so he came over to play. as we walked to my apartment he just said, "You are a really good person aren't you?" Um... I guess, what are the qualifications for being a really good person? He has been my angel because he reminds me of Hawaii and makes me feel at home with the happiness of polys. Maybe I can become an angel to him and others.